I've been feeling kind of stressed this week, partly because of my waking at 4am several mornings and not getting back to sleep so running on 6 broken hours, partly because the weather continues to be cold, with no warmup in sight. [My furnace is still running...and I have it set at 65F.] Partly because I discovered ants in dog's food bowl. Partly because I had laundry to do and May baskets to create. And dandelions to keep ahead of. And learning yesterday there is a wage freeze this year at work. And just the overall corruption of not only our government but everyday people as well. Honesty seems to be a thing of the past. And I'm feeling alone.

But I need to remember that I have the swans. Momma swan was prepping the nest again yesterday and today, while poppa was nearby. And I have that elderly gay couple who are back walking outside and who greet me every morning on the trail with the most welcoming smiles and hellos. I have the grandkids to surprise with the May baskets. I have honey who, despite his repeating the same stories over and over and over, can also have the intellectual conversations I need that delve deeper into issues than most people can ever handle, and who knows how to keep me thinking and exploring for the answers. He always tells me that is what he loves about me, that if I don't know the answer, I go find it. I guess I am what they call a life-long learner. Which is funny, because I hated school since 2nd grade! I like to learn, I just don't like having to sit still to learn. And do it on others' terms.

Anyway, I just need to remind myself that this feeling is very much like 2016-2020, where that constant overwhelmed feeling from the everyday chaos dominated life. Yes, this term it is much, much worse. I have to remind myself that it will end eventually and I need to look forward, much like I did waiting for that small inheritance so I could afford a divorce, or hanging in there at that horrible retail job until I got my second degree, or waiting out the first nightmare term.