There will be no walk again this morning due to rain. But I did walk 4 miles after work to make up for not walking in yesterday morning. And, I ran into a woman I haven't seen for awhile. She said she stopped walking in the mornings with her dogs because the coyotes were still out that early. We talked about other 'regulars' we haven't seen for awhile. And we ended the conversation appreciating that it was nice to know we have a 'walkers' community that looks out for each other.

I saw this green heron hiding in the reedsThe elderberries are ripening

And I didn't realize it until I was going to delete the pic i took to identify the eastern kingbird, that I really like the colors in the picture

I had a gloomy day yesterday though. I had a trigger by email that brought stuff up and it just spiraled enough to cause a pity party and not liking anything about the world or life, and feeling very lonely.

1. Why did they send me a baby announcement for their second child when I received no save the date for their wedding, no thank you for the wedding gift and no announcement when they had their first baby? I'm not touching that link, even if it is legit. Nor am I responding.
2. And why was it signed "hope to see you soon" when I haven't seen him in 10 years? Are they coming to this area and I am being excluded again?
3. Like I was excluded when my two sisters and their two daughters went to the concert together in town here, had a pre-concert gathering where they invited my daughter but not me, and then had the nerve to show up at my house the next day and talk about it as though I knew anything about it. Even my daughter was confused and distressed about it when it happened.
4. A google notice about reviewing changes that hadn't synced across devices. It turned out to be pictures of the entire text conversation with former relative that resulted in my cutting all ties with her. I read the entire string again. And while I still believe my actions were correct, it hurts that she accused me of protecting criminals and rapists when I was simply protecting my family and their extended families.
5. The 12 people arrested by the federal govt yesterday for protesting. The people protesting their arrest being sprayed with chemical irritants yesterday. It is not gone, it is not over. Things have not gone back to normal. Nothing about these gangsters is normal.
6. My complete disbelief of anything that comes out of the gangster administration's mouths. I really truly used to believe that what our govt said was close to the true until this administration, and it absolutely crushes me, CRUSHES ME, that I have turned into such a cynic. That our government has completely FAILED us with their blatant and proven lies. And that people believe these lies. Which circles back to the whole thing with the former relative who believes their lies and accused me.

Accused me.

And here's where the tears come. Because I was accused of protecting criminals and rapists, when I was protecting Constitutional rights. For all people, not just the chosen few. Protecting democracy, when it was becoming more clear that the gangsters were leading us away from democracy. When it hit me after Alex Pretti's murder that the government would still blatantly lie even when faced with the truth. And that people would continue to believe these gangsters even when their own eyes told them differently. I was trying to preserve doing the just thing even when it meant speaking up against those who were not doing what was right.

And I was met with such ugliness and viciousness. And continue to see more and more of this acceptance of the ugly taking over more and more people like some contagious disease. People accepting the disease instead of protecting themselves by arming themselves with information instead of sound bites. Reading. Reading Reading.

So that's where I'm at.

I wasn't going to write about it. Because I feel like my voice doesn't matter anymore. I'm alone in this as more and more people succumb to the disease.

But I guess I needed to. If only to get it out of my head.