It was a bad day to be a rabbit yesterday. I wrote yesterday of the coyote with a critter in its mouth, likely a rabbit. And then last night when I took dog out before bed, he ran after something and then three screams rang out in the dark corner of the yard. I whistled dog back and he came right away. I was thinking maybe it was a cat and it got away. But I checked this morning and there it was, a dead rabbit. I'm glad dog is just in it for the kill and doesn't try to eat it or tear it apart. I'm hoping a coyote or eagle will carry the dead rabbit off.

Another weird dream last night. This time, honey and I were on vacation, a road trip. We stopped at a restaurant to eat. But for some reason, before we had even ordered, we had to leave suddenly. I can't remember the reason, or if there even was a reason. When we got outside, honey said he needed to do something and he walked off suddenly. I went to get the car. I drove all over the area looking for him: gas stations, parking lots, convenience stores. He wasn't anywhere. So I parked the car and started walking around looking for him. There were a ton of people and kids around wherever I went, some kind of boy scout thing. I decided to go back to the restaurant and there he was. We went back to our booth but someone else was seated there. Two plates of spaghetti with meatballs sat at the table. So after some confusion, we left. But then I couldn't find my car. I was walking alone again, pressing the key fob to lock and unlock, hoping I could hear the car. In my dream, I was starting to get angry, so I forced myself awake instead of continuing the dream. It was 5am, so I lay there a bit, my heart doing that new anxiety thing it has started to do. I don't quite know what to do about this new thing.

When I got up, it was still dark but my office had a weird red glow so I walked in to investigate. Turns out we have dense fog, and the neighbor across the street was backing out, their red taillights making all the fog glow red.

Speaking of red, I was reading the comic strips last night, and in one, it was about the color of one's aura. I'd never heard of this, so I searched it and took two What Color is Your Aura quizzes. Both said my aura is red:

Red Aura Meaning: People with red auras are passionate, grounded, and competitive. Those with a red aura are never bored because they make their own fun. They are passionate about what they do but also down-to-earth and easy to talk to. People with red auras tend to be hot-headed, but it’s only because they care deeply about things. Red auras are also associated with physical, emotional, and mental strength. Those with red auras sometimes struggle with being hot-headed or quick to anger. Because they’re so passionate about things, it can be tough to control their emotions when they care about something.

Positive Traits: Courage, determination, resilience, physical vitality, leadership, assertiveness, and a strong will to achieve goals.

Negative Traits: anger and aggression, impulsivity and rash decisions, possessiveness and jealousy, overbearing and dominant behavior, insensitive, or domineering, especially when they prioritize their goals over others’ needs, burnout and stress, difficulty with emotional expression.

Keywords: Ambitious, energetic, fierce, motivated, confident, assertive, self-assured, courageous, aggressive, dynamic, independent, intense, grounded, passionate, impulsive, restless, brave, competitive, excitable, happy, fiery, powerhouse, disciplined, & bold.

I told honey about it, and he said it was spot on. I sent him the quizzes to see what he was. I'm quite certain it is not red lol!

I have been fighting my aura and it has been something I've been trying to abandon and deny my entire life because my mother always put me down and criticized me for these traits, as though they were undesirable. Bad. "Devil on your shoulder." Every personality test pegs me as a leader, and yet I have shunned leadership roles until just recently. I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I received encouragement growing up instead of constant criticism and discouragement and being told who I was was not good. My mom did not like strong women, and those are the ones she criticized regularly. She rarely left the house except to get her hair done and to go to church or hang laundry on the clothesline. She was meek and rarely spoke above a whisper, but words don't have to be loud to be hurtful. Anyway, that chapter is closed. She's been dead for 20+ years. And it has taken me those entire 20 years to find the me I used to be. It is still a work in progress. Because I am Ambitious, energetic, fierce, motivated, confident, assertive, self-assured, courageous, aggressive, dynamic, independent, intense, grounded, passionate, impulsive, restless, brave, competitive, excitable, happy, fiery, powerhouse, disciplined, & bold.

Politics rant:

• Prediction markets and who had the insider info on Iran to place the bets? My money is on the Assahollah's sons.
• The Assahollah IS A CHILD RAPIST!! Release the files. All of them.
• The warlords leave their own US citizens stranded in the Mideast, with no way to get out and no govt assistance to get them out. Unfuckingbelievable.