i can bitch and moan and groan and pontificate... but there is NO WAY around not knowing how to drive anymore. i've reached that hard-ass brick wall and it's either learn to drive or live feeling stuck.
so, this past saturday, i hauled my ass to the city and got my lerner's permit. i was a nervous wreck. i've become a poor test taker and i blame an evil pharmacology and toxicology professor who hated ANYONE getting an A in her class. (this person teaches in NY, not in the state i am in). her multiple choice tests became a trigger for sweaty armpits and forehead. stuff i knew, i'd get wrong because i was only focused on her being tricky...
so, now begins the search for an extremely patient and saintly driving instruction school. i'm no teenager...fearless and invincible. i'm a 38 year old who gets physically ill just thinking about getting behind the wheel. "God, if I kill anything, let it be myself..."
~~~
i've put down "The Coffee Trader" and begun "The Da Vinci Code" Dan Brown...love it so far...
this weekend i skipped going to the movies and watched:
Burnt by the Sun (beautifully shot and wonderful film) Russian with subtitles
Kate and Leopold (Hugh Jackman is gorgeous)fun flick
Up at the Villa (sucked)
i've become fond of Ataris' version of Bryan Adams' "Boys of Summer". it rocks.
i've watched a total of 3-4 hours tops of tv this weekend. almost zero time on the computer...
i'm damned glad i'm reading books again.
looking forward to the Angel season opener...in Oct (what's up with that anyway?!)
Joan of Arcadia looks promising.
lots of cleaning, napping and messing with the cats this weekend.
~~~
standing in the checkout line with items to buy it hit me that i am busy living. i think sometimes i'm under the strange impression that every moment has to be deep and meaningful...earth shattering...or at least, a little interesting. but that's impossible. it was kind of strange, like a sort of out of body experience... there i was standing in line with everyone else...and thought, this is where you are and what you're doing. and it's alright.
it's times like these you learn to live again foofighters
ciao&meow!
Comments (5)
As for the more important part of your entry ... maybe I'm going about things all wrong. Perhaps I should slack off on finding some great truth about my life, and get more involved in just living it. As you say, every moment can't possibly be rife with meaning.
You'll get the driving thing down. Just don't think about it too much.
; )
wish i could figure this life thing out, too. i feel like i was dropped off here and have no idea what i'm supposed to be doing.....like a child that realizes my parents are children, too, just like everyone alive. all children trying to figure out how to parent ourselves, without the ability to conceptualize exactly why 'what's good for us' is what's good for us, we are.
it's comforting to know i'm not the only one.
Never again will you be at the mercy of waiting to be picked up.
Oh no, I feel a mama's and the papa's song coming on..........
~you gotta go, go where ya wanna go~
~Do what you wanna, wanna do~
~With who ever ya wanna, wanna do it with~
=)
:-)