and there isn't a soundtrack for today, just slow humidity. the rain has ceased. i am lucky, i was 3 flights up...

a handful of nights filled with a death, one way or another. last night i was turned into a vampire. the night before, someone put a gun to my head and planted a bullet. it's been a violent week. filled with interruptions and wide-awakeness at 3am. i'm waiting... again. and i hate that.

is this what it feels like to finally reach a higher step? why is it that i feel lost? sad even... why does it feel like nothing ever really gets better, it just changes.

it's 11 am. fourth of july. independence day. and i'm one of the many. quietly sitting in a room waiting for the match to ignite the wick and set free the fireworks...