"come one, come all, get your asses in shape. hop on our wonderful cardio equipment. use our fabulous weight training equipment. practice your form with our durable free weights. come take our tai chi, yoga, pilates and spinning classes...get your heart in shape, get rid of the fat. tone up, stress down, get fit."

the catch: we're closed weekends and on weekdays we close at 6:30 pm...sucks when you get out of work at 4 or 5PM and the gym looks as if everyone and their mother are there working for swimsuit bodies...

but hey! we're open at 6:30 the f*ck AM (get your sorry asses out of bed)

1.for anyone seeing this sad ass schedule, i'd stick to hitting the local university track and running a few miles.

2.why bother sending fitness tips when you guys never seem to be open? when the typical employee actually HAS the time to go to the gym?

3.i need to cancel this lame membership.