is not 40.

and where does the line become clearer? when do you know you're not that stupid ass kid trying to find such big meanings in life or super sparkly answers to your ever growing why?

it's more because now. it's more relax, take your time, no hurry...it'll all work itself out. this is the time you thought about way back when...when you found yourself with big feelings and a gushy heart. you read and reread each page, each old black marble notebook, a documentation of what 25 was...and how it turned into 26...and

it's the great wise Ah-ha. i know what was going on there...now i understand. i see the great big mistakes, the misunderstandings and the plain truth beaming brightly, sunshiney, and how instead of illuminating it all, it just blinded it all to dark.

i keep looking to make amends with the wrongs i have done. i keep trying to send an i'm sorry to the great powers that be so that somehow they land on your sleepy heads. i keep examining my flaws, my mistakes, my failures, and what i see now is that i've never made amends to myself.

bloom. glow. break out the stash of fairie dust and believe in yourself. it's a cool summer night. catch the meteor shower, let the past go.