i've put the long b-side on, am trying to find the right words, funny they never seem to come, but the feeling is there, stuck between pause and run, cut and pain. what a surprise to find that feeling settle in like some awful comfort that's always been there. maybe it has. it has. it has...
taken me down that long dirt road, where i've thumbed myself a ride, dark streets, dangerous freeways, and bodies everywhere. it's that damned circle, how i begin when it's all finished now. how i instinctively find that bit of rope, when every other muscle just wants to let go.
answers have a funny roundabout way. they let you roam the earth and show themselves where you began. began to feel all the coulds and woulds before you took that first step. but the feet kept going and the body kept moving and you found yourself miles from there. where is the answer now? who has it become? have i spent all these years to say okay, "point me to the starting line?"
i've done the 3 hour conference calls, to set myself straight, i've done the ben&jerry's, done the cigarettes. listened to sweet melodies, guitar licks that strummed my heart... i've hit the books and gotten a good night's sleep, i've watched people come and go, and lose their precious souls...
it's all over.
when did my life begin.