Journaling
I know I write a lot and my journals take over Dear Diary’s dashboard on a daily basis, but I enjoy writing and it helps me out quite a bit. I love to write and share about my day as each day comes and. goes — good and not so good (bad)—a better way of saying ‘not so good’ in my opinion. When it comes to me journaling, there is never the same time to write for me because of what my day consists of. I still do ‘on the spurt’ moment stuff to this day and go do something. Becaude of my pampering moment appointment at 1:45 pm and my counseling appointment at 3 pm to 4 pm, I do not have a set time to write. I write in my diary whenever I have time for the day, moment or whenever. That means ANYTIME day or night. I have awakened at 3 am to write because the need to write was there and needed at the time. Time doesn’t have a place when it comes to me journaling at a specific time of the day. Reading a book works the same way. I read whenever comfortable these days. I do have sleepless nights more than one night a week these days during the week and I deal with those kind of days and nights the best I can. Like today, I can write more thsn one entry in a day. That’s what I LOVE about Dear Diary, and I just go there daily and regularly. Sometimes I can go without journaling because I do get moody and don’t wanna share my life with you one day.
With it being April 25th on a Friday morning at 7:10 am right now in Janesville, Wisconsin, I have an hour of wakeful time before my caregiver Deb comes to get me ready for the day because I have one more treatment of dialysis today to go to at 11:45 am to 2:30 pm then I have the weekend to worry about or in this case not to worry about any medical appointments. Whew, the weekend is COMING and I’m excited about it of course, lol. LOL… I LOVE my weekends! My weekend does not start until I leave the 3rd floor’s dialysis lobby for the Friday afternoon to Monday morning’s next treatment week begins with starts and stops in the new week of treatment. Dialysis is keeping me alive with kidney disease I have had twice in my lifetime now in 1987 and 2019 for the past 6 years now. I am taking the time this year to get on the kidney transplant list with Froedert Hospital instead of UW this 2025 year. I am also having mixed feelings about having a second kidney transplant as well because Prednisone has done a number of problems on my physical nature in the past 37 years at 5 mgs of a morning dose since 1987 when I had total kidney failure at age 17 when I thought my life was over then until I have now reached my 54th year of life and still moving along a lot slower than my 20s, 30s, and 40s now, but moving right along in my almost mid 50s. I will be 55 on July 3, 2025 this year! I’m getting old gracefully. Yay snd yeah! LOL…NOT older. Oh well. I feel older some days, too, but it’s ok. I’m fine with it now. Speaking of now?!
Now?!
Recently, in the past few weeks, I have just accepted my life the way it has been since I have been home from being in a nursing home until November 14, 2022. I had a very hard time accepting my physical being of self the way it is right now as it is. I need more help with my needs now since my days with a hematoma on the right hip that prevented my legs to stop working for over a year. Now I do not have a favorite leg or foot now. My left side is not as strong as my already weaker right side. I am weaker on the left side now, too, but can walk to transfer now in the past year on my very own with some physical therapy I do hate but need once in a while. It can still frustrate me at times, my new way of life because I am reminded of what I once could do in my younger days as a child, teenager, and younger adult I no longer call myself a young adult at 54 years of age now. I get it. Anyway, Debbie will be here within a half an hour to wash my hair and give me a bath as my Friday get ready finally begins. One more dialysis session today before my weekend begins after 2:30 pm! This is my now!