Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
My Dialysis Update Journal

Although I have a lot of relationships with friends that are different with people in my life, I feel I have a love and hate relationship with my caregiver jackie Paul, and that will NEVER change. She wants me to have a second kidney transplant where I have. been having mixed feelings about it recently and now do not want another transplant. I have had enough emotional ups and downs with the evaluation process for my name to be on the list now. The feeling is NOT mutual anymore, either.I, no longer, want to have. I just do not have the emotional energy for it anymore. Being sick at seventeen and thought that my life was going through hell finding out I was sick the first time was scary enough with all the hospital time I had that was a lot. Being on a high dose of prednisone was harsh and within a week, my emotional wellbeing changed so fast to a scary side of me I did not like at all. I have dealt with anxiety and depression badly through the years because of sone medicmind having weakened my ability to be emotionally strong and stable. How can I tell Jackie this when I feel she doesn’t listen to me already. Ugh?! I am tired of this shit, Jackie!