A LENTEN SHADE OF PURPLE 💜

North Of Italy, 10:45 PM

I walk into the neuropsychiatrist’s office.

She called me in ten minutes early — I was right to leave at 10:30 AM and arrive in the waiting room just a few minutes later.

While I’m telling her that I won’t be seeing my psychologist for about six months and that changing doctors always unsettles me a little, she looks at me as if she feels guilty: she too will be leaving for another city in a month, for family reasons. 😵‍💫

“This is not possible! What on earth is going on?” - I think to myself, but I reply with exaggerated and fake self-control.

It’s awful how the public healthcare system shows no real respect or consideration for emotionally fragile patients who actually need stability. 😡

I’ll be reassigned to one of the four psychiatrists on staff — all competent women — which reassures me a little.

The next time we’ll see each other will be Monday, March 30th, her second-to-last working day in my city.

After that, I’ll once again have to go back to my general practitioner to request yet another referral for an initial neuropsychiatric appointment.

To avoid thinking about it too much, since Friday is market day, I asked my father to drop me off near the main square, full of dogs and people.

Since life keeps throwing low blows at me, I’d like to defend myself by coloring it. 🌈

I rushed into Douglas and bought three nail polishes 💅🏻 in different shades: purple, which makes me think of this Lenten season — introspection, recollection, and penance; lilac, like the walls of my bedroom, the Lady of Avalon, great enchantress and healer, and Morgan le Fay, great sorceress, witch and prophetess; and a delicate pink that transports me straight to Barbieland.

As the cherry on top 🍒, I bought a nude lip gloss 💋 that brightens the lips.

I don’t love wearing makeup, but it really takes very little to feel better.

I plan to play with the nail polishes in many ways: depending on my mood, my outfit, holidays, external circumstances, the weather, the seasons, the Sabbats, the planets, the lunar phases, the Liturgical seasons, the days of the week — even the hours of the day!

I can’t wait to experiment.

I immediately chose purple, since we’re approaching the Second Sunday of Lent.

During the week, I might wear lilac — it’s softer and less bold.

It’s been so long since my nails were left natural.

I’m truly grateful that this creative impulse came to me. 🖌️

No permanent or semi-permanent manicure, though — I like to change, even within the same day.

I still don’t know which color I prefer to wear… maybe fuchsia 💕, which, along with red, has always been my favorite color.