H left his CD case in his truck. I then looked in the door, there was Keith Green. I looked at it, the pulled it out. Its been awhile since I have listened to Keith Green. I first heard Keith when my girlfriend was away at Christian College I believe. I would go over to visit her, and she was constantly playing his music.
At first when you hear it is sounds so corny. Its so 70sish.
I didnt really get what the deal was with this guy.
And Keith Green was no longer alive.
So for those of you who dont know Keith Green. He is sort of like one of the big names in Christian music who died in a plane crash. And left a legacy behind and became more well known after his death.
Here is a brief paragraph of his death....
"On July 28, 1982, there was a small plane crash and Keith went home to be with Jesus. The crash also took the life of his three year old son Josiah, and his two year old daughter, Bethany. Melody was home with their one year old, Rebekah, and was also six weeks pregnant with their fourth child, Rachel. Keith was only 28 years old."
His music was very simple, a lot of times just instrumental and pianos.
He did a long long song on the Prodigal Son, and I guess this was the first song that appealed to me. Its sort of like one of those Pink Floyd epic long type songs for christian music.
So I put him in the CD player. I only listened to 2 songs, since I didnt have far to go. But I had tears streaming from my eyes singing "Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me."
I have been going thru so much internally the past few days. Almost like being pulled at 2 extremes.
On the way to the dentist before the whole Keith Green thing, I started crying then. I had this sudden urge to want to call the pastor and tell them that i needed somebody to talk to. I was crying, I kept wiping my eyes. It was like this urgent DO IT NOW feeling came over me. Like I just wanted to pour out my heart with someone from the church.
Then come later in the day Im mellowed out and dont see why I felt so urgent about it earlier in the day. It doesnt last it seems. It comes and goes.
Im wondering if that is also due to my church background. I was always before the pastor either tattling on another christians behavior and then saw or heard that they were reprimanded, or else my H or I were the ones being reprimanded, told we wrong, told to knock it off!
And then I would feel such guilt and shame. And honestly want to go from the pastors presence and not do things I had done ever again. And honestly I wanted to do what he said.
But I seemed to just do it for several months, then once again the familiar problem would arise and I would weaken. Maybe part of me got so used to being dealt with in that manner.
I want to go and buy a CD, I used to have it years ago but the H lent it out to friends and I never got it back. It was the DC Talk Jesus Freak album. I really liked that one, and I know my kids would love it. So gotta go hunt down a copy.
Well Im still mellow, lets pray it lasts and I can get a more restful sleep tonight and not have so much in my head.