I had seen Tom Cruise on another interview where he said "Nic is a great woman, we both equally share in the responsibility with the children"
Kids have it hard enough with a divorce Parents. Dont use them as tools for your own issues. What is between you and your Ex, is done and over. That is why you arent together anymore. Do not subject your children to your anger or jealousy or whatever it is about the other spouse. They are the ones who matter the most in all of this.
I remember watching an interview awhile ago with Will and Jaida Smith. How they are all friends with the Ex. How they all work well for the sake of their child.
The kids need LOVE. I didnt grow up in divorce. Or Stepfamilies. My Children are, and it takes both parents to just show LOVE. Its not about being fair to each spouse, its "WHAT IS IN THE CHILDS BEST INTEREST"
Kids need love, they dont remarks about the other parent, plots to gain loyalty or turn them against the other parent, downing the other parents parenting skills, and on and on.
My Mother told my Ex " You will not hear us say anything bad about you to those children. My concern is THEM."
I thank God for the fact that I didnt grow up in a family who was dramatic. We do not have family fights and arguments like I hear so often. We may not be totally close, we are all very independent. But we dont have time for games with eachother. We all love one another. And my parents motto with any spouse of anyone in the family has been "They are the one who choose to marry them and live with them, so we will accept them" Even though there were concerns about my sisters marriage to her first husband. They knew it was her choice. And it had to be her choice to end it. Everyone expressed their concerns, but in the end she choose him. She had to learn from herself.
Anyways, Think of the Kids folks. Get your minds of your own insecurities and fears and think of who suffers the most. Its not YOU, but THEM.