I want to move beyond all the past.
In some ways the time not spent talking was refreshing
I always said I want to love you for you. Not look at you at see your faults
There are some things I cannot accept that you do
But it doesnt mean I dont accept you the person.
Its a hard line to draw
At times I miss you
At times I dont want to see you
I hate having to look at you some days thru my eyes
Wishing I could look at you thru the eyes of others who can enjoy you
Lying, Cheating, Abuse, all such destructive weapons.
All cutting into the core
Trying to place them all down and leave them there.
I want that.
But can I want that with you?
I desire it with you
But can it be achieved?
I want to be that photo in the frame on the desk
I want to be that bright smile walking down the hall
I know all of that is within me, but is it within me with you?
So much healing needed.