Its almost 10pm. Been a busy day today.
Had the biggest laugh fest today with a girlfriend online. I laughed so hard, and for several hours I kept giggling. It was just nice to laugh like that again. I needed a light hearted day. :)
Got off work, headed home, changed for the gym. Went and did my routine, the picked up my oldest, then drove to moms place. We had dinner there, Mom made her little english muffin pizzas that my kids just love. The same ones she made when I was little. :)
I had to rush. Church Recovery Group started at 7. It was almost 6:30. I was in gym clothes. EEKS! Had to hurry home, change clothes, grab a washcloth to clean myself off and throw on my fave Vanilla Scent.
I threw on a skirt and my new chunky high boots, but did not like the look and said screw it and threw my Jeans back on. As I headed for the door I grabbed my metallic copper jacket. HA!
Here I was trying to dress conservative skirt church girl, Instead jeans and a metallic copper jacket. Ah who cares right? God doesnt, hes more concerned with my heart.
So I had to rush. Was a few minutes late.
So what do we talk about tonight? FORGIVING BITTERNESS APOLOGIZING.
Hmmm Im seeing a theme here. In my Monday group we talked FORGIVING also.
I do not believe things happen by chance.
I took a lot of notes tonight. It was a very interesting topic. Pastor even mentioned how people in AA have a part of there steps of making things write with people they have wronged. We kinda touched on that sorta thing. Kinda some steps for us personally. Who have we not forgiven? What people or events consume our minds that we havent been able to let go of? Family Friends? Who are we angry with? Bitter towards?
I think this is the tricky part, especially with Christians, A lot of confusion surrounds the topic of Forgiveness.
I was thinking to myself and wanting to ask the pastor a question when a woman raised her hand and asked exactly what I was thinking.
Pastor said this is more in reference to being wronged at some point. Past, one event, type deal. Not recurring type things.
See they dont say that. Its forgive and forget, the verse GOD REMEMBERS YOUR SIN NO MORE is quoted that we need to be like God. But what happens when repeated harm comes your way, I think one can forgive but one also doesnt have to be a continued recipient and be walked on either. But then the verse, If he strikes you turn the other cheek. See why people get so confused? Especially in abuse relationships? And why the church isnt usually equipped to handle such matters?
Anyways, it was a good message as always. Pastor had told us to go and pray, think of those we have unforgiveness towards, and talk to God about it. Whether or not we have people we need to forgive or go and make amends with. He also said its not always the right thing to go to everyone, sometimes it makes matters worse. Sometimes it about timing. He gave an example that some times these events take place at a funeral once the person has departed. How people let go and forgive at that point, its not face to face, but it can happen. It was a very good message. He stressed waiting on God, timing and situations, and convictions.
I was thinking in my head of those people I havent forgiven or hold bitterness towards.
Well of course I have many of those feelings with H. But Im going to avoid that topic and leave that for the pastor and God to assist me with.
But beyond that who?
3 people came to mind during the Bible Study. 2 are BIG ONES on the list, and the other is a minor person that really isnt a part of my life.
So who are they?
My Former Pastor
The Former Christian Intern Counselor who counseled H and I
and Inks friend C who said the rumor about me
The first 2 would probably be the biggest sources of bitterness in my life. Ones that I need to deal with and make some peace with and forgiveness.
Well here I am, I will be going to work later next two days. So get to stay home till about 10:30 and not be on the go so early. YAY!
Well thats all for now.