Unauthenticated comments:
I appreciate everyone’s thought good and bad as well. Why would your children be reading their mothers private thoughts? What is really yours, and yours alone--if not this. It's important for everyone to have their own personal space, and I don’t' think I'd think it was appropriate for children to be reading their mothers journal--do you let them listen to all of your adult conversations as well?
Now, if my journaling were the type in which I gave uncensored details of my sex life, then no, I wouldn't let my children read it. However, my diary is something I hope to use as a historical chronicle to look back on, as well as for my family and friends to use in order to keep up with what is going on. I don’t put anything in my diary that I am ashamed of, or that my children shouldn’t read. While my 10 year old isn’t interested in reading it, #1 & #2 get a hoot from several entries, and do read it on occasion.
Anything I put in here regarding my relationship with any of my children is something I have spoken with them about prior to my entries. They know I use this to vent frustrations as well as to express other aspects of myself. I have encouraged them to open up diaries themselves, and I know some people who read my diary on a regular basis have visited at least the diary of #1, I don’t think #2’s has surfaced yet with anyone outside of the family.
As far as letting the boys listen to my adult conversations, yes and no. While Hubby and I don’t include the kids in our pillow talk (although we do torment them by verbalizing our love and kissing in front of them, which produces a loud YUCK! from #3) we do include them in other conversation. Besides doing the sex, drug, smoking, alcohol and stranger talks and role playing games with them, we discuss anything they ask about. Religion, politics, school, philosophy, money, art, science, you name it and we have discussed it with the kids. While I want my kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood while it lasts, I don’t think they should be sheltered. They know the why’s behind the rules we set, and like most kids they don’t always agree with them, but they know them. When Hubby and I argue about something, we do take ourselves away from the kids to do it. That being said, we do let them hear us come to agreements when they know there is a difference of opinion between us.
As far as what is really mine, and mine alone, cyberspace is the last place I put those thoughts. Yes this diary is for me, but it is for me to share. The parts of myself I don’t want to share with the world are kept elsewhere. Some of those come out eventually here in the diary when I’m willing to face them, but others will remain elsewhere forever. The parts of myself I need to keep for only me are not things I would put into an online diary.
My diary, with the exception of only one entry that I can think of off the top of my head, is primarily PG-13. It is out there for the world to see, and I don’t really care who sees it. Admittedly I use a great deal of artistic liberties with many of the incidents I put in here. In the future I don’t want to look back on grim aspects of my life, I want to look back and laugh at myself, and the scenarios I went through. If someone does not like what I write, or if they disagree with what they perceive I am saying, there is a nifty little X up in the right hand corner they are welcome to use.
Do the kids know that I am occasionally frustrated and angry about things that happen with them? Yes. But they also know that I love them unconditionally. Have I ever verbally threatened to duct tape the kids? Yes, but they know it is an empty threat, and that I only say that when I’m to the point when I need to point out the ridiculousness of the situation. On the other hand, when I threaten to take their Game-Boy away if their behavior doesn’t shape up, they know that I’m serious.
Like my bro, I am prone to wild exaggerations of situations I experience. While I’m not the storyteller Albert Finney/Ewan McGregor was in Big Fish, I have been known to embellish from time to time. As far as my diary goes, anyone is welcome to read it, but remember to keep your tongue in cheek as needed.