As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban or Al Quaeda male to see any woman, other than his wife, naked and that he must commit suicide if he does. So, this Saturday at 3PM Central time, all American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban or Al Quaeda, and to demonstrate that they think it’s OK to see nude women other than their wives and to show support for all American women.
Also, since the Taliban and Al Quaeda do not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-terrorist sentiment. For good measure, have various pork products cooking on your BBQ grill since THEY DON’T EAT PORK!
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America!