The scars that we as women leave on one another are much deeper they said then boys usually leave with a black eye. Its the gossip, making fun of, spreading rumors, turning others against one, thats the stuff that hurts deep. And the other part was it said most young girls get into groups when they attack, the goal is to turn all of the other persons friends against them and get everyone on your side. Its so true, I didnt get to watch the whole show, Oprah has asked why girls do that? WHat way were we socialized that we want to be in groups?
And how most girls do NOT like confrontation ONE On ONE with the person they have an issue against. And most often times they would behave the way they do in a group if they were alone with a person to talk something out.
I remember Junior High. I had a best friend of a few years. We had a group of friends, but she and I were "Best Friends" but we went through phases of a 3rd new girl getting into our best buddy twosome. Its really tough in 3's. It seems two will always pair up. So this happened with my best friend and the new girl. They started to ditch school and shoplift. I ditched once and had enough, so the next time they tried to talk me into it I said No and went to school. And then when the shoplifting started, I wouldnt go to the store with them. Of course I wasnt "Cool" because I didnt go. Then they told me I couldnt be friends with people younger than me. I grew up on a street full of all ages, so I have little kids all the way up as parts of my life and had been for many many years. Our street was closenet and all the kids and families were involved in one anothers lives to some degree. It was very Leave it to Beaver.
Well my best friend and the new girl gave me an ultimatum. "Get rid of your little friends or loose us" And wrote me a 4 page letter with a lot of curse words (words I have never been told my whole life by any of my friends) I was now a "Bitch" and "Fucked Up" and I had a "Little Pea Brain" and on and on.
So they told me to meet them at a certain place at a certain time to tell them I wanted to be their friend before my time ran out. Well I put on a pair of blue 1980s sunglasses, walked with my friend A who was 2 yrs younger then me and my support person. And a herd of 7-9 yr olds. And we marched down to the end of the street. Where I said "I choose my "Little" friends. I wore the sunglasses to hide my tears. It honestly was very intimadating for me standing up to these 2 peers of mine. They of course walked off with disgusted looks, and all my younger friends cheered me as we walked back home. I then went in my house and broke down crying and remember laying in my moms lap as she pushed my hair back and saying "Mom? Why? Why are they acting like this???"
Well a week later my best friend got caught shoplifting and the police called and her parents called. I then recieved a letter from her "Hey do you wanna be best friends again? Remember how I didnt get into trouble when we were friends? But now since Ive been around R Ive been in trouble?"
My parents moved the year following and she and I drifted apart as friends. We had a lot of years together, but Im personally glad that friendship ended.