11pm
Just got finished watching the first episode of Real World Chicago. Oh it looks like another exciting season and that this cast will be quite dramatic. Yeah Im a sucker for it.
Dang I wish they had the Real World for us lil bit older people. But no we gotta go try Survivor or Temptation Island. Dang I just wanna live in a cool spread and have some totally cool job and a bunch of attractive housemates and share rooms with people.
But then again isnt my Real World enough? :)
Bought the Shakira album tonight, Its quite interesting the music, not what I had expected but I like it, Mainly I wanted something with a lil shimmy shimmy waste action middle easternish sound. Theres 2 songs on there I can use for practice.
I was just laying in bed tonight, cleaning up house, folding clothes, writing out bills, filing papers. Then I just sat there. And just thought "Wow you have been separated for one year now Sparkler. You have spent so many nights alone."
Just amazed at what has happened in my life.
Its a big deal for a girl who had met her H at age 16.
I pray for happiness, for a healthy relationship. For a better future, whatever it will be, whatever road it will be. I have no idea at this point what that is.
But I just want to be at peace.
I want to be in love and feel good about that love.
I dont want to be tossed to and fro like the Bible says. The verse " A double minded man is unstable in all his ways"
I did get a flyer, some of the girls from dance class are more experienced dancers and there is a big day event dance party sorta thing. I want to go, the other people in class are pretty friendly, so if I can get chummy enough to carpool with someone Id like to go.
Im still a little sad and lonely at times. Feel a lil empty. There are good and bad days.
Im doing ok, just want to get back to some Peace internally is all.