For anyone who is not familiar with Peter Pan Syndrome, see here.
OK, I freely admit I have gotten older, but have I have grown up? I think I have, but I'm too close to the subject on hand to be completely objective.
Do I shirk responsibility, or embrace it? Well, it depends on what it is. I suppose that way of thinking in itself is a bit of an admission to showing signs that I suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome.
Can you suffer from not growing up? I suppose that is a discussion for another day.
If the responsibility in question is one of my responsibilities, then yes, I do own up to and handle it. If the responsibility is something pertaining to my familial life, which another family member typically takes care of, then I will take it on if that person does not or cannot. I suppose I could use a stereotypical analogy here and use Mowing The Lawn. Typically Hubby handles this responsibility, but if he is not home or unavailable I will do it myself. Keep in mind this is only an example. This particular chore is one we both love to do, although I liked it more when we had the riding mower!
Now, while I have gotten older and accept my responsibilities, have I actually grown up?
I have made efforts to maintain a youthful way of thinking. I don’t like the idea of being so set in my ways that I’m unwilling to see all aspects of a subject. I have also joked for many years now that I’m still 24 years old. Maybe in my dreams! As 40 grows closer and closer I find I’m not afraid of it. While I don't want to obtain the tunnel vision I have always attributed to many adults, I don't mind accumulating years.
I suppose I could joke that as long as there is hair dye, to some extent I can avoid looking older. I think that is more vanity though, or just an attempt to not look too much older than my Hubby.
Is part of the reason I recently felt the way I did at my parents because it enabled me to let them take up all the responsibilities, therefore enabling me to reclaim my youth? I thought it was more that due to having more immediate support available to me than I do in my own home.
When I am in my own home, I really only have a few people who are willing to render support and assistance when things get crazy. These people are a 2.5 hour drive away. Due to this, while at home I tend to withdraw into a shell when the environment gets extremely stressful. Is this avoiding responsibility? Is this not wanting to grow up? I don't think so, but again there is that whole forest and tree thing going on.
So I suppose my question is, by attempting to maintain a youthful frame of mind, and gladly accepting assistance and support, qualify me under the Peter Pan Syndrome?
I have realized today, that just by reading my diary, and not knowing the entiriety of my life does indeed give the appearance that I dislike being a wife and mother. It could give the impression that I don't want to grow up. My life however is so much more than this diary. In this diary I have the freedom to vent and creatively embellish on daily incidents that would be considered mundane. I would estimate that this diary touches on less than 1% of my life, feelings and philosophies.
I suppose if anyone can't see that, I could always go short sheet their beds or Toilet Paper their house.