Do I suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome?
Sun Aug 18 2002

Well, I'm not a man, but I suppose women could suffer from this malady too. This was recently suggested to me, so I thought I would mull it over.

For anyone who is not familiar with Peter Pan Syndrome, see here.

OK, I freely admit I have gotten older, but have I have grown up? I think I have, but I'm too close to the subject on hand to be completely objective.

Do I shirk responsibility, or embrace it? Well, it depends on what it is. I suppose that way of thinking in itself is a bit of an admission to showing signs that I suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome.

Can you suffer from not growing up? I suppose that is a discussion for another day.

If the responsibility in question is one of my responsibilities, then yes, I do own up to and handle it. If the responsibility is something pertaining to my familial life, which another family member typically takes care of, then I will take it on if that person does not or cannot. I suppose I could use a stereotypical analogy here and use Mowing The Lawn. Typically Hubby handles this responsibility, but if he is not home or unavailable I will do it myself. Keep in mind this is only an example. This particular chore is one we both love to do, although I liked it more when we had the riding mower!

Now, while I have gotten older and accept my responsibilities, have I actually grown up?

I have made efforts to maintain a youthful way of thinking. I don’t like the idea of being so set in my ways that I’m unwilling to see all aspects of a subject. I have also joked for many years now that I’m still 24 years old. Maybe in my dreams! As 40 grows closer and closer I find I’m not afraid of it. While I don't want to obtain the tunnel vision I have always attributed to many adults, I don't mind accumulating years.

I suppose I could joke that as long as there is hair dye, to some extent I can avoid looking older. I think that is more vanity though, or just an attempt to not look too much older than my Hubby.

Is part of the reason I recently felt the way I did at my parents because it enabled me to let them take up all the responsibilities, therefore enabling me to reclaim my youth? I thought it was more that due to having more immediate support available to me than I do in my own home.

When I am in my own home, I really only have a few people who are willing to render support and assistance when things get crazy. These people are a 2.5 hour drive away. Due to this, while at home I tend to withdraw into a shell when the environment gets extremely stressful. Is this avoiding responsibility? Is this not wanting to grow up? I don't think so, but again there is that whole forest and tree thing going on.

So I suppose my question is, by attempting to maintain a youthful frame of mind, and gladly accepting assistance and support, qualify me under the Peter Pan Syndrome?

I have realized today, that just by reading my diary, and not knowing the entiriety of my life does indeed give the appearance that I dislike being a wife and mother. It could give the impression that I don't want to grow up. My life however is so much more than this diary. In this diary I have the freedom to vent and creatively embellish on daily incidents that would be considered mundane. I would estimate that this diary touches on less than 1% of my life, feelings and philosophies.

I suppose if anyone can't see that, I could always go short sheet their beds or Toilet Paper their house.


11 Comments
  • From:
    Kaliko88 (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    Who says we ever have to completely grow up? Personally I think it's rather healthy if at least some part of us is a perpetual kid. We just have to be adult enough to know when it's a good time to be a kid and when it's not.

    Which is why in my spare time I use a diary to talk to myself and play video games. And read comic books. Besides, life is too short to forget what it's like to be a kid. You get more cranky if you do.

    >^..^<
  • From:
    AussieDeafMan (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    I think that having a 'young frame of mind' is not the point of PPS.
    I think people who aren't prepared to be accountable for their own actions are the ones who suffer from PPS.
    People who still need a mother, like a child does, or people who still think they are omnipotent, like a teenager.
    Being mature is being able to see and accept reality, the truth.
    While it's rare to see that in children or teenagers, it isn't really age related.
    More 'life experience' related, plus having the right attitudes.
    Take care
    _|m/ ADM

  • From:
    JustAnotherBeth (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    and now an example of why Beth is not allowed to leave comments.... lol. i opened another browser to respond to each thing you said so i could SEE what you wrote while commenting... Maybe thats a bit obsessive....

    lol but anyhow. i just visited ADM's diary where i promised to loveme as who i am and i babble best and its your turn to get babbled on LOL....

    First of all.

    "peter pan" was Mary Martin if I remember correctly.... so screw the idea its for men!ok now i see the link for if i am not familiar with it... i admit i am too lazy to click it... but i have a feelihng it has to do with
    I WONT GROW UP
    (I WONT GROW UP)
    I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL
    (I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL)
    JUST TO LEARN TO BE A FELLA
    (JUST TO LEARN TO BE A FELLA)
    AND RECITE A GOLDEN RULE
    (AND RECITE A GOLDEN RULE...

    IF GROWING UP MEANS IT SHOULD BE
    BENEATH MY DIGNITY TO CLIMB A TREE
    I'LL NEVER GROW UP
    NEVER GROW UP
    NEVER GROW UP
    NOT ME! (PETER PAN)


    can you suffer from not growing up.
    answer=yes
    dont believe me, gimme your address and i will send chris over there....

    i admit that the idea of 29 this november scares the crap out of me. I'd rather skip it and go to thirty. it's the 9 thats makigng me insane... the impending actuality of what i am versus what i percieved i might be...

    and i am not half asold asi thought i would be when i was going to be 29 one day...

    and i am so much younger than i ever thought was possible.

    evolving into an adult... like i have anything to say about it... is this constant rush and journey of everything. evolving into yourself. all along life, growing... not nessecarily growing OLD in thought and even body. ( my mom looks better now than she did 20 years ago)

    i've taken on responsabilities like you described... it does not make me old, it makes me.... NOT so completely absorbed in being irresponsable that i am able to find a happy medium. and i freely admit i have become more conservative with my age. I mow my lawn... lord knows chris would never try to, but I also went out therelast fall and dug a big ole windy fish pond with a pump and lined it in cement and beads and tiles.... it the kind of thing only a GROWNUP would be able to do

    and yet it was such a youthful thing, and its there all the time remindimg me... mostly that every time i put a fish in , it dies...bu thats not relivant...

    I also have the "shell of my environment" against me and boy does that one feed itself....

    from the first times i came to dear diary, i have read some of your words, and i remember once i read like three months straight... LOL. I have all these pamphlets for military school put away for when my kids get older....

    the diary is a cross section, and dont doubt momma that I know as everyone does that you love your kids ! I meani talk about sellling mine and putting them in a blender, at least your methods are somewhat humane!!!

    does all that qualify you for the SYNDROME? I dont know.. i told you i didnt read the link but i will project...

    it qualifies you for being human....
    Love
    Beth





  • From:
    Slipperman (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    well, even in that 'i don't wanna grow up,' the lines about reciting a golden rule and not wanting climbing a tree to be beneath one's dignity don't suggest rampant irresponsibility to me. i don't want to grow up if it means i can't have silly fun and buy toys all the while paying my bills and taxes.

    you got nothing to worry about.
  • From:
    Kaliko88 (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    Wolverine, huh? And made all the nice by Hugh playing his character in the movie. I always liked the Beast myself. As for growing out of comic books, I shall quote the t-shirt sold at my favorite comic shop. "It is never too late to have a great childhood."

    >^..^<

    P.S. I will admit, I haven't been reading any of the X comics for years. Lately I read some of the indy comics, including my all time fave, Thieves & Kings.
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 18 2002
    growing up is overrated anyhow ;)
    happy test-driving

    sez
  • From:
    Kaliko88 (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2002
    Well since you're interested, the writer and artist of Thieves and Kings puts out the comic. He does everything short of the printing. It is written by Mark Oakley and his company goes by the name of IBox Publishing. You can check out their website, though he's redesigning it right now so it's down: www.iboxpublishing.com.

    I absolutely love it. It's totally black and white, but his storytelling is phenomenal! Our local comic shop loved it so much it was one of the first comics they recommended to the local library as a subscription for the youth section. Although back issues are hard to find, he's lately been reissuing them in trade paperbacks with about 3 issues in each book. I highly recommend it if you think your boys would like fantasy. The hero is a young boy as a matter of fact.

    >^..^<

    P.S. It's the only comic I've ever liked so much I wrote to the letters section. Twice actually.
  • From:
    Franisbueno (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2002
    You have brought a tear to my eye...
    sniff sniff...
    do you realize how long its been since I've shared a night of movies, cookies, and beer floats with you?!

    Have one for me!
    ~fran
  • From:
    AnneOakley (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2002
    Alli~

    Thank you!

    Hugs! _lm/
  • From:
    AussieDeafMan (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2002
    Right! Why is it called Red Stripe?
    Enjoy the beer (floats???? beer and ice cream ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!)
    _|m/ ADM
  • From:
    TraumaMama911 (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2002
    You have written a thought provoking entry about growing up. I have no words of wisdom as I slip my coffee trying no to think about what I need to do today with my adult responsiblities!!
    RE the horses: We often shut our gate in the evening after the store is closed and let them graze, especially when the grass is growing fast. I have never picketed a horse after having a terrible accident many years ago with one getting caught up in the rope and freaking. Unfortunately, they won't eat the dandylions and the grass is about dead, leaving them to find other things to sample, like flowers. So for now, it is the riding lawnmower---HEEHAWWWWWWW