On July 19 #1 will get on an airplane by himself and go to Juneau. A week later I will be going up there with #2 & #3 and a week after that Hunkka-Hunkka Hubby will be joining us for a week. I will be up there with the kids until the middle of August to help get #1 settled in and visit with family. The middle of August #2, #3 and I will return home.
While we have some concerns about #1 traveling alone, our reasoning behind this is mostly psychological for #1. We want him to fully realize what he is doing. By taking the trip alone it will enforce the fact that this was his decision. He won't be able to come back later if things go sour and accuse us of taking him there and abandoning him. This is his decision, he needs to be fully responsible for it.
Hunkka-Hunkka Hubby is taking it quite hard. He is quite emotional about his son not wanting to live with him. While I have the same feelings, mine are not as profound as Hubby's. Perhaps that is due to the fact that I have been on the receiving end of the verbal and physical abuse #1 has dealt, and Hubby has never even seen those incidents. I admit that I do feel some relief of this. I think #1 will do better without his brothers around to compete with. I also think his brothers will do better without him here so their stress level won't be so high.
#3 is terrified of his brother. While he admits that he will miss him, there is also obvious relief in his behavior. I think #2 will have the most difficult time with this. He is very attached to his twin, and the separation will be painful for him at first. He also is afraid of his brother, so I think after a short time he will settle down and accept it more.
My folks have already been coordinating with schools and doctors up there to be ready for this. #1 will be in a Behavior Development classroom at the local schools. This will be the same type of environment as #2 was in for the past 2 years that has allowed him to really gain control and turn himself around. I very much hope that #1 finds the same type of success as #2 has. He also will have the opportunity up there to get into a music class to learn to play an instrument. My folks have a clarinet and #1 cheerfully announced that he wants to learn to play it.
This is difficult for all of us, but I really believe that this is the best thing for #1.