For Christmas, one of the twins asked for and got a model airplane. An A-10 Wart Hog (military aircraft, looks a bit like a camel with wings...). With this model, his father generously got for him a wide variety of model paints. You know the kind, non-water soluble.
After assuring me that he was NOT ready to do any painting, and was only gluing it together then letting it completely dry before he painted it, my darling son then commenced to open the black paint and promptly spill the entire bottle of it in the middle of the dining room on the aforementioned previously gold colored rug.
After repeating a few thousand times my new mantra "I love my children" to remind myself that I do in fact love them, and standing in one place with my trusty Bissel carpet shampooer and a spraybottle with diluted paint thinner in it, I have come to the conclusion (as I have many times before) that I really should have decided to raise dust bunnies rather than children.
My three beautiful, NOW well behaved children have just learned what a primal scream is and that Mommy has only one nerve left tonight and they had better do what I ask them to do without ANY fuss whatsoever or I will review all the literature for the military schools I asked for information from.