As with any group, clicks formed, and friendships grew. One friend, that was easily my best friend for many years, eventually became one of my room-mates. I was 19 or so when I moved in with Kim, along with my now SIL and her then new Hubby (and still her Hubby today). The 4 of us shared an apartment above a waterbed store, and across the street from a bar (how we picked on the patrons of the bar via the pay phone outside of it is a story for another day).
From about 1979 or 1980 until about the time I entered the Air Force, Kim was undoubtedly my best friend. Her family was one that welcomed me as a friend and borderline treated me as a sister/daughter (I have incriminating pictures of two of her brothers dressed in drag I may use for blackmail at a later date). Kim’s 4 brothers, Steve, Tony, Brian and Richie (I’m sorry Rich, I can’t think of you as anything but Ritchie) were carefree, fun loving and always behind any practical joke that was being played at the time (see my brother's entry on the Things That Explode for one of Brian's experiences). Their parents, Dale and Mary were like substitute parents for me. Mary in particular was a combination friend and Mom.
I went through some things during those years that I wasn’t comfortable talking about with my own family, and Mary listened to me, gave me a shoulder to cry on, then showed me that it was still OK to laugh at life and press on. Without a doubt, Mary was a truly remarkable person. A beautiful woman, who always embraced life with a smile and a laugh lurking in her eyes no matter what was going on at the time.
Come to think of it, she was the only one who didn’t roll her eyes or wordlessly humor me when my hair went screaming pink. She looked me straight in the eye and told me I looked ridiculous, and then invited me to dinner.
After I entered the Air Force, and later got married, Kim and I drifted apart. When we would see or speak with each other occasionally, it was as if we were picking up the last conversation we had, like no time had passed at all. We would on occasion hear about the happenings in each others lives through other friends, and from time to time touch base with each other. While I have spoken to her recently, the last time I saw Kim was after my hysterectomy during a Uterus Coming Out party Hubby and I threw in August 1999. Lots of friends, beer and a uterus shaped cake with red frosting.
OK, I'm only kidding about the cake. It was the pinata that was uterus shaped.
A few weeks ago I got an e-mail out of the blue from Kim; she just dropped a note to say hi. We e-mailed a few times, and talked on the phone a few times since then. Last week I got an e-mail from Kim that stopped me in my tracks, and brought my heart to my throat. Mary had died.
I’ll be going down to the funeral Friday, and I would give anything to have me going to see this family for any other reason than this. I’ve no doubt though, that somewhere Mary is looking down at her children, trying to find a way to bring laughter to them and make this time go easier for them.
God rest your soul Mary, you will be dearly missed by more people than you ever would have realized.