“I think my Mom assumed I would just find some "pass the time by" job until I could find a man to marry and take care of me.”
I was merely stating what the opinions of my family were. My grandparents on my Mom’s side of the family never had a woman in the family work. My Mom only worked on the occasions where we had a financial need, which was not more than a few years during the times I was growing up. It was a belief of the family that women should stay home and care for the home and family while the husband supported her. The comment “take care of me” implies financial care, not catering to every whim or caring for a woman as she is not able to take care of herself.
My last entry was merely to state that despite being raised in an environment with that mentality, I never wanted that. I wanted an education. Whether or not I worked after that was not the issue at all, I merely wanted more than a high school level of education so I could be more informed and aware of the world around me. Watching the news is all fine and dandy, but if you know the history behind the countries in the news, you have a greater understanding of the why’s of what is going on. Sitting down and having a conversation with someone can be much more dynamic and interesting if you have an awareness of things, which allows you to talk about more than family, weather and whatever movie you’ve seen lately.
When in Japan I had a friend who’s wife had not even finished high school due to her getting pregnant and subsequently married. Having a conversation with her was about as interesting as having a conversation with a moss covered rock. She had no awareness of anything outside of her home. She could never understand why people did not care to come over to visit with her. Let’s face it, talking about cooking your husband dinner and changing your kids diapers does not make for a stimulating conversation.
I’m not saying that this is the case of every woman who chooses to get married and stay home. I am just saying that if you have an education or even an experience with the world outside of your home and family, you have more things to find in common and discuss with others about. While there are some women who don’t want this, and never have, I at least wanted the chance to discover it for myself. I resented the fact that my family assumed I wouldn’t go to college, and therefore never encouraged it. I resented the fact that my family expected that I would be like the rest of the women in my Mom’s family. I resented watching my brother be encouraged to reach for the sky, while trying to teach me to take care of a house and set a good table. I resented not being shown what opportunities were available to me.
That was me. I have no problems with anyone, man or woman, who chooses to stay home rather than work if they are in a situation which allows it financially. I do have a problem with someone who makes this choice if finances don't allow it, and they choose to use public assistance rather than go find work to help support their family.
I know how much work staying home can be. I just wanted to see what was behind the doors around me that my family would not give me the keys to unlock.