I lingered on this topic several months ago, and am inclined to repeat that post.
It's Something That We Do,
January 21, 2002
When I was much younger, I had this idealized notion of what love should be. I suppose the Faerie Tale Knight in shining armor on his white horse was somewhere in my mind. I just knew that this fictional character would come along, sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after.
Of course then the pragmatist in me would wake up and start pointing and laughing hysterically at this pipe dream (even at 15 I was something of a pragmatic young person). I knew love was out there, and had this Hollywood vision of what I thought it would be.
Then I went through several relationships (some of them SERIOUS mistakes). Then I got married. Then I grew up.
If I had known the truth about love as a teenager, I never would have believed it. During the 70's some sappy movie popped out the line "Love is never having to say you're sorry." WRONG!!!!! Being in love is being willing to admit you are wrong. It is being willing to compromise and work toward a common goal together. It is HAVING to say you are sorry and forgiving the person you are with when they are sorry.
While we have had more than our shares of troubles, I cannot imagine being married to anyone other than my wonderful, loving, incredible handsome Hunkka-hunkka Hubby. There are times when I want to scream in frustration and pull out all of my hair, but as we grow closer and closer, those times are becoming fewer and fewer.
I have known my Hubby since 1979. We were friends for almost 10 years before we ever dated, and in March we will have been married for 13 years. I know everything about him, but each day I discover more of him. This wonderful adventure we call marriage has brought us three beautiful boys (I would count the dogs too, but only if I want to make him roll his eyes). It has seen us on both sides of the Pacific Ocean, separated for one war and now finally together during a second war. We have had good times, and others where we were not sure how we would find money for food. We have shared each others grief over the death of loved family members and friends, and celebrated the joy of life with the birth of friends children.
He is my best friend, my lover and my husband. He is everything I want now and in the future. My life goal is to grow old with him and watch the legacy of our children and grandchildren unfold before us. I want to plan vacations, family reunions, gardens, paint schemes and our childrens weddings with him. I want to know when I lay down at night, that he will be by my side still in the morning.
This love, this marriage, is perhaps the thing I have worked the hardest at in my whole life. And it has been worth every moment.
No, love is not something that you find, or have, or fall into. Love is a decision that you make, and work at with every breath you take, and it is SO much more than I ever dreamed of as a child.