(Disclaimer: I know this is not how it works, but I refuse to let anyone take this illusion form me!)
Chocolate, friend or foe?
When you think about where chocolate originates from (before Hershey's, Nestle or any other Candy Empire.), you come down to a humble Cocoa Bean.
Hmm, Cocoa BEAN. Now, look into the food groups, while chocolate does not appear in any of the groups, BEANS do. They are a prominent member of the protein group. The protein group consists of (among other things) beans and MEAT. So protein wise (taking a great leap here) beans are essentially the same thing as meat.
Using the above information, one can conclude that chocolate is meat!