As I mentioned, I have three children with varying degrees of ADHD. This manifests itself differently in all three boys.
My youngest is simply hyper. He is what a stereotypical "hyperactive" child would be considered. When medicated, he no longer bounces off the walls. He is able to sit still through an entire meal (provided it is something he likes to eat). He is able to sit in class (mostly) and pay attention. The disadvantage to medicating him? While it does calm him down, it also makes him emotionally more sensitive. Emotional sensitivity includes losing his temper more easily. Fortunately with him we have only experienced one suspension (he is currently in 2nd grade) in his school career.
My middle one is on the hyper side, but unless it is a new movie or a video game he is simply unable to focus. He does experience some Oppositional Defiance (known as ODD), but as he is getting older he seems to be getting a good handle on keeping himself under control....IF he is medicated. Without medication, forget it. The ODD rears its ugly head and when he is corrected for his ADHD behavior he becomes increasingly defiant and very stubborn. This typically results in what we refer to as a blow-up. If he were 8 years younger I would call it a tantrum. He is currently in 6th grade. When in Kindergarden he had 10 suspensions before Winter Break. I have stopped counting suspensions, but have noted that in this school year he has only had 2 or 3. The fewest during one grade level in his school career.
My #1 is the extreme case. He suffers not so much from ADHD as ADD (not much hyperactivity to note when unmedicated). He also experiences a severe degree of ODD, and for variety his brain chemistry has tossed in Bi-Polar Disorder (a.k.a. Manic-Depression). We DON'T let him go unmedicated. In the last year he has been hospitalized twice due to extreme behavior related to these disorders. 90% of the time while medicated he is an intelligent, calm, considerate and generous young man. 9% of the time he exhibits some defiance and anger issues. 1% of the time he is extremely physically and verbally abusive. We have come to refer to these as "episodes". When this occurs, it reminds me very much of a seizure. He reaches a point of no return and when you look at him during this time, there is nothing there of his normal personality. The episodes last anywhere from a few minutes to as much as a couple hours, varying in intensity during the longer ones. When it is done, he is completely exhausted and very emotional.
I have had people accuse me of causing this in all of my children due to bad or inadequate parenting. Several years ago I had one person go as far to say that the children did not need medication, they needed Hubby and I to be more attentive. I let that person watch the boys for me for a few hours in which I left them unmedicated. When I returned I found the person had changed their tune and was in fact searching my cupboards for the meds to give the boys.
While I will agree to some extent the boys do suffer from Daddy Deficit Disorder as between work and school Hubby has to be away from us quite a bit, I do not believe this is the cause of their issues. I do believe family support will help them get through these years more easily. This is why I quit my job and we left an almost $100K/year lifestyle and home to come to this $32K/year military housing where I can be home and available to the kids. Do I think this will solve our problems? No. Will this make it easier for the schools, and thus (hopefully) easier on the boys? I hope so. Will this cause my BP to shoot through the roof and my mental state to fluctuate? Probably, but that is what Welbutrin and ACE inhibitors are for, right?