FOOD IS NOT A REWARD.
NOR IS IT A CONSOLATION PRIZE.
This started when I was very little. "If you're good you can have a cookie!" As I got older, my grandpa kept "goodies" (mostly Starbursts and Three Musketeers) in his desk at work, and when we would go see him if we behaved we got a reward.
When I was young my Mom came up with a way to make sure we were eating enough to keep us healthy, if you eat everything on your plate it won't rain tomorrow! This was the 60''s, where it seems the philosophy was that if a child did not eat a big meal for every meal then malnutrition and starvation was a concern.
As I got a little older, my brother tended to dawdle at the dinner table, and my Mom not wanting to make either of us feel picked on came up with a strategy, "the last one to finish their dinner has to do the dishes". I learned to eat with lightening speed!
I was always a chubby child, then teenager. I managed to slim down enough in my early 20's to join the Air Force. My time in the military had me toeing the line for my weight requirement. I always came in just under the wire. It was easier though when I had a job which required me to run a mile and a half three times a week. Until they put me on the graveyard shift, at which point between that schedule and being the mom of three boys all under the age of 5 left me too tired to do anything other than trudge through life barely keeping up. That was when I started to put on my adult weight.
When I separated from the military and transitioned into a civilian job with a 2 hour commute on either side of it, just taking care of my family during my waking hours occupied what little time I was not asleep. Exercise? Forget it.
Did I mention I also like to cook? Pasta, dishes with lots of cheese, not enough lean meats, fruits and veggies. And cookies. I really liked baking cookies.
Everything in my early life, and choices in my adult life was the perfect storm for obesity. I've had a bad knee all of my life (originally not related to my over-eating), which has made aerobic exercise uncomfortable or downright painful.
Since September I've been going through a re-educational approach to my lifestyle. I mostly stay on track. I sometimes backslide (I really did not need to have the quantity of meatballs at dinner tonight when there are healthy leftover choices in the fridge).
But I'm working on it.
My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 84 pounds by mid-March.
I recognize that I may or may not meet that goal, but I'm 41 pounds towards that goal. Only 43 pounds to go. For all practical purposes... I'm halfway there.
I've already won. I've lost 41 pounds. If someone had told me earlier this year that I would have made it this far, I would wonder what they were smoking.
I've already won. I've met three of my short-term goals to date. I have three more goals I have set for myself. I am well on my way.
I need to remind myself of this daily to avoid getting discouraged. It took me almost all of my life to put this weight on, it's not going to come off any more quickly than it is no matter how much I wish that fact were not true.
I've already won. Now I need to focus on my next goal and winning again.