Mother Reclassification
Wed May 11 2005

This came in an e-mail, and I just had to pass it on as it is too perfect!

A woman renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a .....?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."

"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation ...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career
woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out.

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are More of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (a 6 month old baby) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother."

Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!!

"I also think it makes aunts "Associate Research Assistants."

I also feel that Stepmothers are "Assistant Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

5 Comments
  • From:
    PixieKitten (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed May 11 2005
    LOL I love it!
  • From:
    Sugardancer1007 (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed May 11 2005
    Perfect! :)
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed May 11 2005
    i loved the mother role description, how dare anybody belittle such a high and worthy calling

    sez
  • From:
    TrappedEssence (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu May 12 2005
    LOL Hey can I use that title too LOL.I loved how you stated your career tittle. I am a mom too a lol hate the name "house wife"(not married to the house here)with 4 kids,2 though have moved out but they still come around to need stuff. That was classic though, you aught to send it in to the readers digest. "Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" I love it,thanks for the good laugh and the feeling of importance. :) cheers to you :)
  • From:
    Dreamerbooks2003 (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu May 12 2005
    DD has had some down time. or some hangups all weeek
    I am getting notices again now
    I didn't get several !
    But, I didn't go on 'puter for a couple days either and my notifications add up fast!!!
    PHEW
    Classification is good
    Dentist is .. I relate!!!