My family is broken. Family members are not speaking to one another which I think is real dumb and stupid. We need to get along with everyone, right? Realistically, no, not possible, but can be done. Just know their trigger points and avoid them. That does not work or mean anything to some members of the family to be very honest with you. Huh, honesty? What happened with that to be very honest here. That is no longer used in court anymore as well with those people who can lie without even TRYING. I proved that in 5th grade until parent/teacher conference time. Oops! My dad came home with ALL of my school books to get caught up on homework assignments I did not finish for homework. Yep, I lied about having homework. I had my first and last lying streak and I was grounded to the kitchen counter from morning to night at bed time. Remembering that from my 5th grade year was when I began rebelling a bit for my mother leaving us to move in with Lon, her husband now since 1993 that year. I was ten going on eleven that year.
So, now, my family needs professional help and Dr. Phil comes to mind. I am feeling stuck in the middle knowing some things I needn‘t to know among family member issues. I am emotionalLy sick because I am caught in the crossfire of family issues at this point in time in my life. Even when I was a child, I heard of the problems the grownups were having with other family members around me as they would discuss such things while little listening ears are nearby. Grownups are not 100% smart sometimes—idiots in other words. I have seen plenty of Dr. Phil episodes to hear him say what Dr. Phil says through the years whether he is right or wrong in saying it at the time. Audience members clap at his truthfulness in the topic or are glad to hear the family will get help they have been offered by Dr. Phil at no cost to the family. Geez, if only my family believed in counseling help likei do now that I am older. All these years I have been angry with the wrong parent and now realize who I’m really mad at these days…my mom, of course. Now, I have been mad at my dad for a lot of things when he was the one who was there when my mom was not. He gave me and my brother a roof over our heads without ulterior motives involved and came to live with us kids in Milton in our home when Mom moved to Richland Center, Wisconsin in 1980 and then moved to New Mexico in 1982, and Greg and I spent our first and last Christmas in New Mexico because Mom and Lonnie changed plans at Christmas time to be their own time with one another.
The feeling of being abandoned by your mother in 1980, 1982, and not seeing my mother for 15 years now, and finding out the truth about mom not wanting custody of us kids anymore since 1982 has been a blow to the mind and heart at age 53 when my dad, his wife Sandy, and my caregiver Jackie were having a conversation about my mother’s abandonment in 1982 when I was 12 years old and for goodness sakes, I began my menses that year in 6th grade which was a very awkward time for me and I needed a mother at that time and my stepmom Sandy and my dad were only married since July 18, 1981 officially at that time, and Dad and Sandy did not move to the house in Milton, Wisconsin when my dad and his police buddies helped build the house in 1974-1975 when Dad bought the piece of land for his projects, gardening, and animals he wanted through the years, Chickens, goats, a dog or two, or three, and a restless hit him and we moved to Janesville, Wisconsin for the remainder of my high school days where I had to make new friends and go to a school I never been to, but graduated from my mother’s high school Craig Senior High School and having my second cousin Mr, Dick Jorgensen give me my diploma holder the year after giving his daughter’s Jill’s her diploma holder the year before. Awkward, but pretty cool, and learning of your Principal’s after school activities being a little shady and possibly not exactly true by friends who didn‘t have better things to do while causing trouble for themselves and their damn reputation fit life.
More to come yet…