Choose Just One

It is a source of deep embarrassment to me that as a person of faith, and one who is generally an optimist, that I am so thrown out of balance by our current situation.

This realization of my inadequacies adds to my mental and emotional burdens.

I think I ought to be doing better at this.

After thinking it over quite a bit, and let’s face it, we all have had more time to think it over….. and over…. and…

(Stop.)

(Now.)

Ummm… okay. Anyway, after many deliberations I finally came to the realization that because I am a sensitive person, I am hearing a subliminal ‘psychic scream’ of the whole world right now. I cannot turn it off. I can turn it down but it never really goes away. And it wears me out. My attention span is dismal. My patience is thin. My concentration is somewhere in the realm of swiss cheese. My energy levels are in the basement. And my sense of humor has taken to going in her room and eating vast quantities of donuts or some other such self destructive behavior, thus making her totally unreliable. And let me tell you, I need that chick to be on the job. She IS the quintessential … pardon the pun… essential component of my life.

So, taking all this into consideration, please join me a couple of days ago.

I woke up in a funk and couldn’t pull myself out of it. I wanted to do two things that day. Just two. I wanted to turn some of this stuff into a pie.

Such beauty!

AND I wanted to simmer up a dye pot because I had some new plants almost ready to be transplanted into the garden with blossoms on them. The lilacs were just passing their prime and I wanted to get one or two on paper before they were gone for the year.

As I contemplated these two activities I realized I could only face one of them. What does that say about me that I couldn’t bake a pie AND do a dye pot on the same day?

But that is where I found myself.

Frankly, it kind of scared me.

(Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

Shut up.

I’m NOT afraid!

I’m just worn out from the sound of the suffering of my fellow humans. All the simple and the more profound disappointments and separations, and uncertainties.

I had to make a choice.

Pie. Or paper.

I chose paper.

Here’s an impressive looking Poppy from S. The only thing that made a print however was the black center. Poppy petals, not even this vibrant, do not release their color, more’s the pity.

Here are some of the results of my day’s work:

The rhubarb is still waiting patiently for it’s debut. It will be the first taste after a wait of two full years. Maybe this week pie will make it onto the ‘one thing’ of the day.

We shall see.

Comments

  1. Love how the prints turned out. For one thing in a day it was impressive. I am like you another empathetic soul. Getting one thing done today was a big deal. I have so man6 projects to accomplish and I fall flat on my face or curl into a little ball like a roly poly. I even have a list with jobs to pick and choose. From 15 minutes to an hour. Pfft! Not working. I also am not knitting, which is bad for my hands. So let us be Scarlett Oโ€˜Hara and and say that tomorrow is another day. We will get it back. This is all a form of self preservation. And one day we will do more. Love and Hugs! Tom says Hi!

    • I saw the photo on his blog today! ๐Ÿ™‚ Sweet!
      Glad to know I’m not alone in this. Sorry to hear about not knitting. I know what that means to a knitter. I hope you get your mojo back soon. Knit a potholder! Hugs!

  2. wrenchman366 says:

    I would have gone with the pie I think, and as you this new upside world has everybody in a new found funk, and just so you know I was worried about you, no posts or comments I was concerned so keep in mind I think of you and hope all is well with you, love the paper.

    • I know I WAS getting a little lost in the fog for a while. I will try to be more ‘present’. It feels better to be IN rather than OUT of the loop all things considered. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Cheryl Taylor says:

    Please put me on speed dial if you ever just need human conversation.

    I’m really surprised about your poppy not printing. I would have expected a vibrant color as well.

  4. I’m glad you picked paper, we can share in the results while a pie….
    What is the orange on the first print? I see african daisies, black walnut, flowering plum leaves, what else????
    I saw my grandson this past weekend, first time in weeks. He is walking, and talking up a storm, and he gave me a kiss all on his own. The hugs were the best. I miss hugging my family.

  5. Mamallama says:

    Picture #8,,, THAT leaf!!!!!!!!

    And here I thought I was the only one with an aware collective mind.
    Brings you to your knees, doesn’t it?
    *sigh*

  6. Teresa Auldridge says:

    Thank you. I needed that.

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