Is it true about Men and their Mothers?
If a man has a poor relationship with his Mother, will he in turn treat you the same way?
Does it mean ruling out any man who does not get along with his Mother?
I had read this on the Internet ……..
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF ABUSERS
* He was verbally abused as a child, or witnessed it in his own family.
* He has an explosive temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
* Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire
to control their mates.
* His sense of masculinity depends on the woman’s dependency upon him. He feels
like a man only if his partner is totally submissive and dependent on him.
* Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Their primary, if
not exclusive, relationship is with their wife/girlfriend.
* He has low self-esteem.
* He has rigid expectations of marriage (or partnership) and will not compromise.
He expects her to behave according to his expectations of what a wife should be
like; often the way his parents’ marriage was, or its opposite. He demands that she
change to accommodate his expectations.
* He has a great capacity for self-deception. He projects the blame for his
relationship difficulties onto his partner. He would not be drunk if she didn’t nag him
so much. He wouldn’t get angry if only she would do what she’s supposed to do. He
denies the need for counseling because there’s nothing wrong with him. Or he
agrees to get counseling and then avoids it or makes excuses to not follow through.
He might not want her to get counseling because, he reasons, she wouldn’t have any
problems if she only turned to him.
* He may be described as having a dual personality — he is either charming or
exceptionally cruel. He is selfish or generous depending on his mood.
* A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. He can be
cool, calm, charming and convincing: a con man.
* The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn’t relate to his partner as a person
in her own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when
he’s angry. He assumes that she is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant
other — often his mother.
I read the last one, and noticed the comment of the mate seen as a symbol. Often of his mother.
So women seem to find someone similar to Dad, and Men like their Mother.
Are we all just doomed to be screwed?
Im afraid to get to know a man because of all of this. Im afraid to get close, to date.
We are all messed up in some way. We all have baggage from our parents. How can you tell when someone will be ok?
It makes me scared to fall in Love.