Happy New Year! Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Natalie stayed the night again for New Years and we celebrated by banging some pots and pans at midnight LOUDLY. Just for one full minute. I am generally considerate to my neighbors in our building, but after a couple of days of hearing their music so loud I have been getting headaches I figured paybacks are a bitch 🙂
BJ came to pick Nat up and smoked with me, and then I hurried up and packed stuff for me and the girls to go stay the night at S & T’s an took a shower then mom came to pick us up.
We went to the CEC in Shar., and then went to S & T’s house. I had to make a run home because I left the clothes, and I know T doesn’t like it, but she was nice enough to let me use her car again.
I am up at night writing this, while working on laundry and organizing all my crap I pack up for one night.
My ED wants to reemerge. I have been restricting more during the day, and bingeing at night. I want to take a break from donating my plasma because eating enough to keep my iron and protein levels right is killing me on the inside. I don’t want to be back in the cycle, but I’m there already,… 🙁
Aunt Clair Jean’s husband Joe passed away from cancer on December 14th. I slept in and missed the funeral last Saturday 🙁 The girls and I, along with Jason are going to eat at the Olive Garden and meet up with a lot of family members, some from Florida and South Carolina. I called Memaw to tell her happy new year and she was worried about my kids coming with us. I know it’ll be all right, because I have two very well behaved kids, that I would like to introduce to some of our extended family members. My own immediate family members hardly ever see my kids, so this should be nice for my girls seeing everyone.
I am going to work hard on controlling my ED thoughts and urges tomorrow so that I can have a good day, anyway. Screw it! I’ll try to eat structured meals, and if I don’t, I’ll work harder on not bingeing later at night. I miss being real thin, but I don’t miss being unhealthy!