Thursday, 9/13/12

I saw my therapist mylinda today. She stopped me at one point and asked me to take a deep breath, then asked me to do it again. I tried, and I slowed down. She asked me if I was sleeping. I just caught up last night from not sleeping at all the night before, but I guess I’m still talking fast and my voice sounds different.
She asked what I need help with the most. I told her I need help with my self esttem. I told her that when I am making eye contact, I feel like I am staring at someone, so it’s hard and when I sit in her office I am covered by her desk, and I realized that I ecven scooted closer to her desk as I was talking then I scooted back. I play with my hands on my side of her desk, make little hearts and look at the shadow of my hand from the glare of her desk. I think she wants myu new meds to change, my ritalin for the ADHD. That is scary, and I even said please don’t chnage it! I hope I don’t look thinner or anything, she said if I started looking like a stick that they would take me off of it, because I have an eating disorder and it makes you less hungry.
I am getting ready soon to go to my kids school and help out in the classroom that I get to help in 🙂 I love it, but will have to start going only 2-3 times a week, and therapists, mine and Em’s wants me to try like twice a week. I am supposed to be learning how to give myself structure and stability, not depend on other places and things. But, it makes me so happy!!! I will write more soon, gotta use some mouthwash before a student asks me about my stinky breath again from being a smoker. I love my kids!