I was talking to a friend today about a party (virtual of course!) that we will be attending. Of the person that is putting it on she says ‘You know, you need to watch out for her. My husband told me it is well known that she is off and may not be trusted. You have to be careful with her’

My mind flashes to a time when I was talking to another friend about the very same friend who said this. ‘She’s special you know – I mean SPECIAL. She is just different and doesn’t get it and you have to be careful with her’

How ironic.

My response to both of these instances was to pause very briefly to consider my response. It is simply non- negotiable. My response always is ‘I like her a lot and have never had any issues. She is a really great person!’

Why is it that women tear each other up? I always wonder afterwards what on earth is said about me. I’m different too and I’m glad!

I just like being me.

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The pandemic is taking its toll on me mentally though. I am struggling and need people to talk too. Not doing so well over here – and I like being alone! Makes me realize how poorly others must be doing also 😞 I stay home ALL THE TIME. I work from home, eat from home, do a walk most every day. My highlight is going to do curbside grocery pick up. Oh the excitement making my list – I consider myself an expert hoarder now ⭐️

My lovely daughter: ‘Mom! when are you going to stop being afraid of COVID?’

Me: ‘I am not afraid, I am educated. When are you going to start taking this more seriously?’

2 days later….

Lovely Daughter: ‘Mom, I don’t want to come to Thanksgiving dinner – I saw (Officer Step Son) arresting someone and he wasn’t wearing his mask! I don’t want to be around him’

Me: ‘Ha! whose afraid now?!’

Lovely Daughter: ‘I’m not afraid – I am just being smart and want to keep my family safe’

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Mr T’s sister died last week. It was a surprise and he hasn’t spoken to her since 2011. No reason really, just life. He wanted to go to her funeral in Vegas….. He is the youngest of a large family, some other siblings were going. His family seems to only gather for funerals and weddings. It’s their thing.

Oh the angst! See, COVID-19 numbers are out of control here, just as bad there. What people aren’t realizing is the risks of getting so sick you need to be hospitalized. Not dying, thats the easy way out. With my work I see the high overview of many cases – hospital stays are crazy long, the after effects of chronic lung disease amongst other health issues. The cost of the hospital stay, the emotional impact. It is pretty bad.

In my mind I weight the benefit of going out vs the risk of exposure. And I tell you, the risk outweighed this one and after several days of trying to be ok to go to her funeral, I finally freaked and said I cannot go. You go if you need to – I will stay here. And yes, when he comes home he has to quarantine until he can rapid test at work 3 days after.

On Friday he officiated a funeral for an officer who died. On Monday he chose to stay home and not go to Vegas to attend his sister’s funeral. Some friends of ours (that believe the pandemic is a political scheme) just left for a vacay in Mexico….

I just simply do not know the answer to this

I am such a crappy person after all 😣

Here’s to me doing better at being a better person – All I can do is try. I am not perfect. I struggle. I make bad choices. Tomorrow is another day

Cheers 🍷