My dog has surgery day after tomorrow for multiple mastectomies. Apparently I have to wait until tomorrow to get a better explanation as to why they do not just remove all her nipples. She doesn’t need them, and it seems like the logical thing to do to help reduce recurrence. I do not understand why this wasn’t discussed in the first place.
I find myself thinking ‘Well, I should take her on a walk – it may be her last one’ or ‘What the heck, I will give her some leftover shredded pork – live it up while you can’ ‘I guess I should give her that other dog toy in the cupboard – that will be sad if she never gets to enjoy it – And what will I do with it but look at it sadly after the fact?!?’ Live with no regrets
Yep – that is life right now. I really love my dog and hope all will go well with her surgery. We decided this is all we will do, hence the cut out all of her boobs scenario
As a nurse I have always wondered which is the lesser evil: To know you are going to die and be able to plan/ say goodbyes, or to die suddenly. Which is more painful and difficult? No one is ever ready to die regardless but I think that sadness with knowing one is ill and having thoughts like such above would be hard to live with. Interestingly those I have met who I know will die soon frequently are not aware they are. I am unsure if it is denial or if their providers did not clearly explain it to them.
I think of my friend who just died from breast cancer. I think we both knew when we spoke to each other that she was going to die eventually from her breast cancer, especially once it was in her brain. She knew that I knew as well, so she avoided talking to me I think. She would look away anxiously as she spoke of hope of a new treatment that may be available, voicing confidence at its effectiveness…. I know she knew deep down that as much as her beautiful heart desired to live and reach her goal of seeing her daughter graduate, she knew she wouldn’t make it. She was one determined woman and I admire that. I can understand why as she had a child at home, but another breast cancer victim I know is 75 years old. WTH is the reason to put her through the many treatments and costs. She is suffering from the side effects and her quality of life is crap. It is just plain wrong for one to think they must ‘fight cancer’. It is an individual experience indeed, however, I think my elderly friend would agree that it isn’t worth the misery. It has been found that many actually live longer and with a better quality of life when they do not do the aggressive chemical treatments. Quality of life vs quantity – or – would you like quantity vs quality? It’s this in between part of sudden death vs knowing you’re dying that is the toughest.
In my heart I want to work hospice again. I want to help people open those taboo conversations, let them vent their thoughts, help with the transition to the next phase as comfortable as possible: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I think this is what I will do once I semi-retire, just not yet. I love working from home so that is where I want to be since I have to suck it up and work full time still.
I can’t have those conversations with my dog. She is like a trusting child, completely innocent and oblivious and feeling great! Running around all over and having a ball. On the surface she looks fabulous. Here I am trying to make the right choices for her. I will probably mess it up and live with more guilt and would have- should have- could haves. Meanwhile I will just do the best I can
My friend’s daughter is 11 years old. Cancer sucks