One of the things I love to do on a daily or regular basis is delving into Bible scriptures, do devotions, and get on the phone to have worship with my boyfriend KB. I have been taking time to read devotions at Bible and do lessons throughout the week. My way of spending time with God is my way, my time. My love for God cannot be a mystery. I do not want it to be. I want people to know that I love God, and why He is so important to me. This past week has proven that I need God in some areas of my life I have going on outside of dialysis. I have to learn more about temptations and how to allow God to help me steer away from temptations that can cause me to distract me from what God wants me to do. As far as my faith goes in, my love of God, I would never say that my faith is right while yours is not. I didn’t understand God’s plan for me until 2016 when I learned that my transplanted kidney was slowing down, and dialysis was something I needed to look into once again. I did not expect my kidney to hang on for three more years — until April 2019, before needing to have dialysis treatment for the second time in my lifetime. From 2016 to 2019, I have realized God’s plan for me. I believe God exists, and Jesus died on the cross for all of us. Please understand that my love for God goes deep down. I have my days where I feel I can do things without God’s help, but I always find that it is only a feeling. I cannot do much without God’s guidance. When I go my own way, I end up an emotional mess, feeling drained, and I wonder how I get myself in predicaments where I give myself, what people call a V8, a little smack on my forehead in “why did I do that?”, “Why did I say that?” and what was that all about?” I have plenty of those days out of the year.
As I sit here writing/sharing what I am writing right now, I am doing so because I enjoy writing, and I find that writing helps me express myself better than I can verbally. Would you think that I write my thoughts and prayers in letter format to Jesus silly? No, it’s not at all.
At times I find the Holy Spirit working with/in me. I have heard the sermons, been to church personally, and have read, reach my entire being shivers with chills, and then I feel warm as if a glow is visible, I would see colors blend in a way I would understand. Does that help? My time with God is exceptional.