It has been a while since I last wrote in my diary. A new month has begun. June has bowed out and left the stage so July could come out and do her performance.
Now, except for a couple of appointments happening on Monday, and my birthday on July 3rd, I admit that I do not have any major plans this weekend except dialysis on Saturday and tomorrow. I have to write an update on how dialysis is going in “Life On Dialysis.” That will be done soon. Please let me get myself organized and ready for the month. It has been a while since I last wrote.
I do not have a lot to say today. It is my stay-at-home sort of day. The only time I leave my apartment is to go to the dialysis clinic and pick up my groceries at the grocery store. I have a new favorite store now. It is Festival Foods. The quality of their food seems better than Wal-Mart as well as their service. The workers seem friendlier than Wal-Mart. Right now, because of COVID-19, getting Lysol is difficult everywhere I get groceries. It is frustrating because people have taken their bodies to the store and hogging all the Lysol so other people can’t get any of it – stocking up because of fear.
I haven’t been able to get Lysol for four months now. I was able to get a can of Lysol in March because DKF found a couple of cans leaving one for her and one for me at Dollar General. DG doesn’t have any right now. It is very frustrating. Thanks to striking fear from the beginning news media on TV once one person came back from out of the country to the United States. UUGGHH…oh well. This pandemic will be over when God says it’s over. He is in control. The government officials and their constant bickering about how President Trump is doing have to stop as well. I believe they act like babies right now, not wanting to work with the President because they do not like him. It is because he’s not a politician like most of the presidents before him, or they do not like him period. Please do not get me started if I like him or not. I have mixed feelings when it comes to President Trump. This year’s voting is going to be a tough one for me.
It was a lovely day today. It has been hot and muggy here during the week. That is what we get in the summer in Wisconsin, I guess.
I’m not too fond of real cold and real hot temperatures, but there is nothing I can do when it comes to having the best health care in Janesville and Madison, Wisconsin.
I guess I have had a lot more to say than I thought, huh? I can go on and on at this rate, but I won’t. It is getting late, and I am tired. I had my worship with my sweetheart KB and his Mom TB. I have taken a medication called Z-Sleep, and it is now affecting my ability to stay awake any longer. Good night and have a blessed day or night wherever you are in the United States or country.
Life in the Karnopp household is a little chaotic today. I learned that Bing Crosby the Cat hasn’t been eating the food I bought him this month, so DKF went to Dollar General to get the cat food he does like — Purina Cat Chow Indoor Formula. He did eat some, but he is still lying on the kitchen table as if he is having the blahs — depressed. It worries me a little bit, and I have dialysis treatment in the morning for three hours and fifteen minutes. I hope he will be okay in the long run after today in the next couple of days. I have absorbed what has been going on politically and finding the Coronavirus pandemic overwhelming the past couple of days. Dr. A was making his rounds, and when he got to me, I told him what was going on. I had understanding ears, and he said to me that what happened in the recent weeks with the pandemic was something I can not control and that I should not be worrying about it. Also, the upcoming election for the presidency has been such torment on my heart. The President has people who hate him from the beginning of office, and they want him out of office, and not make presidency in November 2020. I have been getting flyers in the mail that says that President Trump is poisoning our water to harm us, persuading me to vote for Biden. I feel that my vote in elections is not counted or thrown away. What one party wants me to do is making me feel that voting is a waste of time. That kind of snail mail I do not need in my mailbox. I want people to leave President Trump alone. It has been a rough four years politically at my end of the airwaves. I had finally had a breakdown on Sunday — the need to cry at 3 PM until Tuesday morning. When I need to cry, it distorts my way of thinking until I talk about it. Sunday afternoon, I did not know or understand why I felt the tears forming in my ears and the need to cry. By Tuesday morning, I told Dr. A what was going on, and he said to me that I need not worry about things I cannot control and concentrate on what I can. We then discussed my monthly lab report, and I have been doing very well with dialysis, and my labs show improvements in phosphorus and other lab tests he looks at are either the same, better or still high but lower from last month. Even though I do not talk about dialysis in my public diary, I do have to admit that on Tuesday, I was not impressed with my weigh-in being at 94.8 kilograms. The clinic does not go by pounds. I use a converter for that when I need/want to. Dr. A told me that my weigh-in was okay because my weigh-out on Saturday was 92.1 kilograms and that I did great with my fluid intake over the weekend. That was a relief to know. Also, the first hour my catheter was being problematic, so Dr. A put an order to use cathflo before and after treatment. Okay, since Tuesday, the need to cry has stopped until I realized that Bing hasn’t been eating. I feel I have been a mean “mommy”, but I believe DKF and I have found the problem and resolved it. I have been watching and catering to Bing’s needs all day long, and he has eaten some of his food we got him this morning at Dollar General. I have had some life lessons this week.
Now, with my heart poured out this evening, I do have to admit that I am feeling a little better. That’s what a diary is for, right? Why not share my thoughts with others to show that I am a human being with feelings like everyone else? Here I am, pouring out my heart. Please, If you believe in the power of prayer, God, or a higher power, pray for/with Bing and me. It has been a rough beginning of the week in the Karnopp household. I know I will be okay. I tend to worry, and that is not good on the heart or mind. Thank you. Now that I have poured out my heart to others, I can say that I am a human being with feelings, I do not always understand immediately. I do not get frustrated with God when it comes to an emotional breakdown because it is not his fault nor mine. I cannot blame Adam and Eve for eating the fruit from the tree God told them they should not eat. God’s plans are what they are for a reason, and I am here to share what I do understand when I can. Thank you for listening/reading my diary. I appreciate Dear Diary for being here.