September 6, 2020

I am sitting here tonight, realizing that I need to say that I have not written for a few days.  I am doing my best at keeping up with writing my diary, writing it, and then plan on posting it as soon as I can.  Sometimes it doesn’t get posted right away like yesterday’s posting.  This one is another one I post immediately.  I use Microsoft Word or Pages to write my thoughts down, make documents, and go from there.  It is not easy being a diarist.  Writing your diary online where the world can see it can be scary, exciting, and fulfilling at the same time or how your day has gone from the moment I wake up in the morning.

I have spoken to my dad through a text today.  I had to ask him where he stood politically because there is a lot going on right now that makes me cry.  I stand in the position I am because of my beliefs in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit/Ghost, and I do not like what is going on politically.  It is getting bad, and spiritually, prophecy is being fulfilled like the Bible says.  Yes, I read the Bible, and I NEED to get back to doing devotionals and reading Bible verses again.  I have been lacking in that part of my life lately.  Tomorrow I will begin again and that is a promise.  As far as politics go these days, I have no control what is happening, and I am glad I am not a Politian.  I agree on doing what is right even though I feel I am a whistle blower.  I do what is right where I live when a tenant or a group of tenants are not abiding the rules of living here.  Right now tenants are not wearing masks to protect themselves from the Coronavirus.  I have been wearing my mask because I have kidney disease and doing dialysis.  What is happening politically is happening according to prophecy being fulfilled.  Jesus’ return is soon.

I am up later than my normal bedtime.  It is Labor Day weekend and DKF is not coming tomorrow.  I can sleep in and rest, get things done online before going to sleep as well as in the morning.  I have not started my painting project yet.

I have been taking my new regimen of meds for anxiety, panic, and depression for six days now.  I’ve noticed a difference in my emotions, and they have calmed down.  I still have panic from time to time, but it is getting better.  I do not have the heat in my face or ears as much now.  I panicked some on Thursday because I couldn’t find something on my phone, and when I did find it, it WAS after I made a phone call to Festival Foods.  I texted DKF about what I couldn’t get on my list, and I texted her one text.  Yes, I still panicked, but it felt different.  I believe I am on the road to recovery now, and that is a beautiful feeling.  I am more awake, alert, and not taking afternoon naps on the couch sitting up.  Not as tired.  Also, I am happier.  I  Being on 20 mg of Celexa and 50 mg of Trazodone and being weaned off Clonazepam; I am on the right road now.  I feel great!

This entry was posted in DIARY.

September is Here Now

August has left the stage and has allowed September to make its debut.  Let’s give September a hand and watch its performance and see what comes our way for the month.  I have a couple of appointments this month.  A physical to reassure that my health is good enough to have graft placement on September 29, 2020.  My physical with Dr. H (primary) on September 11, 2020.  I will need to have a day of dialysis switched around because September 29 is a Tuesday.  The graft placement will be the third try to get an access in the arms to work for treatment, and this will be the final try for an access.  If the graft does not work, I will be using the catheter that I have right now.  I am going with the flow of life the best I can.  I have my moments of unsurety, but I hope it will lessen now that I have a new regimen of meds for my anxiety, panic, and depression.

This entry was posted in DIARY.