September 6, 2020

I am sitting here tonight, realizing that I need to say that I have not written for a few days.  I am doing my best at keeping up with writing my diary, writing it, and then plan on posting it as soon as I can.  Sometimes it doesn’t get posted right away like yesterday’s posting.  This one is another one I post immediately.  I use Microsoft Word or Pages to write my thoughts down, make documents, and go from there.  It is not easy being a diarist.  Writing your diary online where the world can see it can be scary, exciting, and fulfilling at the same time or how your day has gone from the moment I wake up in the morning.

I have spoken to my dad through a text today.  I had to ask him where he stood politically because there is a lot going on right now that makes me cry.  I stand in the position I am because of my beliefs in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit/Ghost, and I do not like what is going on politically.  It is getting bad, and spiritually, prophecy is being fulfilled like the Bible says.  Yes, I read the Bible, and I NEED to get back to doing devotionals and reading Bible verses again.  I have been lacking in that part of my life lately.  Tomorrow I will begin again and that is a promise.  As far as politics go these days, I have no control what is happening, and I am glad I am not a Politian.  I agree on doing what is right even though I feel I am a whistle blower.  I do what is right where I live when a tenant or a group of tenants are not abiding the rules of living here.  Right now tenants are not wearing masks to protect themselves from the Coronavirus.  I have been wearing my mask because I have kidney disease and doing dialysis.  What is happening politically is happening according to prophecy being fulfilled.  Jesus’ return is soon.

I am up later than my normal bedtime.  It is Labor Day weekend and DKF is not coming tomorrow.  I can sleep in and rest, get things done online before going to sleep as well as in the morning.  I have not started my painting project yet.

I have been taking my new regimen of meds for anxiety, panic, and depression for six days now.  I’ve noticed a difference in my emotions, and they have calmed down.  I still have panic from time to time, but it is getting better.  I do not have the heat in my face or ears as much now.  I panicked some on Thursday because I couldn’t find something on my phone, and when I did find it, it WAS after I made a phone call to Festival Foods.  I texted DKF about what I couldn’t get on my list, and I texted her one text.  Yes, I still panicked, but it felt different.  I believe I am on the road to recovery now, and that is a beautiful feeling.  I am more awake, alert, and not taking afternoon naps on the couch sitting up.  Not as tired.  Also, I am happier.  I  Being on 20 mg of Celexa and 50 mg of Trazodone and being weaned off Clonazepam; I am on the right road now.  I feel great!