My heart is aching today. I had to say goodbye to Bing. Yes, goodbye, Bing. I had to put him down. He had diminishing kidneys and hyperthyroidism. He went from fourteen pounds to 6 lbs within the first part of the year. I did the right thing. I am without a cat right now, and my heart aches to the point that the quietness of the apartment is deafening. I hope he understands what I did for him and myself in the long run. I believe he will be in heaven when I get there. Bing is the second cat I had to put down because of age-related illnesses. My first cat, Emilee Marie Cuddles, lived 16 1/2 years before she was put down. She, too, had hyperthyroidism, as the doctor told me. I thought she had cancer, but I believe Dr. W was telling me her thyroid nodules were enlarged.Bing was 15 years old.
Life continues to move ahead even when I do not write an entry for a few days. I know I have written an entry yesterday, but I didn’t write an entry on the 20th or the 21st of September. I really do not have a lot to say these days. My routine remains the same every day these days, and I am satisfied. I have this fear that after the 26th, DKF is going to give me her two week notice because she may be taking a job somewhere else that is not nursing. Jesus knows my fears. Satan does as well unfortunately. I am feeling the shortness in my breathing lately because of it. My anxiety has not been nipped in the bud, but it is now controllable. Anxiety does not make my ears hot as much. I can feel it a little bit tonight. Jesus, please help me, thank you, Amen.