A Day Turned Into An Afternoon the Need to Cry Today

In most cases and times, I am usually in bed by this time and sleeping as I have dialysis at the beginning of the week/tomorrow. Today, I was doing my best on my regular Monday at home to get some devotion time with God while DKF was here this morning, and watching one of our shows Midsummer Murders. After she left, I watched my HMM shows, and after she returned at 5 PM for a half an hour, I returned to my bedroom for the rest of the night to get ready for worship with K.B. and his Mom T.B. when they were done with doing laundry. In the meantime, while I waited, I played a game on my iPad and finished watching Magnum P.I., starring Tom Selleck. I wanted to write in my diary earlier in the day, but the words would not come. From 3 PM to the present time, I have the feeling the need to cry. Are my hormones beginning to go haywire, or I need to cry? I am not going to search for the reason why I want to cry. It happens to be one of those days the tears want to form in my eyes. I am not weak. I am feeling the need to cry today.

I have not been able to write in my blog(s) lately. It has nothing to do with what I want to write about or share. The Holy Spirit has not prompted me to share anything new yet. In the meantime, I will live my days as I have been doing. A new work week has started today, and my dialysis weekend is over now that I am in bed for the night. Please forgive me for not writing much about the need to cry. I do not know why. I will be okay. The kind of afternoon and evening will pass as a day that was not the best day I lived. Despite the feeling of the need to cry, I lived this day the best I could. I am not upset that my day was not 100% happy. I still had my bath, got dressed for the day, had breakfast and lunch, and supper. DKF came back to be with me for a half an hour before going home for the night, leaving me to head to my bedroom for the rest of the night.

I am going to say good night, and God bless. It is time for me to close up shop and go to bed. I took a Tramadol earlier, and my body is relaxing from the pain I am dealing with this weekend. DKF found my Tramadol in the bag my meds came in last week, and the bag was in the trash can in the bathroom. I knew I had them somewhere, and DKF accidentally threw the med away, thinking it was empty of all medicines delivered Friday morning between 11 AM and 12 PM. The meds, Tramadol, was still safe in the medicine bag, away from other trashed items — thank goodness. If the pain I deal with is 6 – 10, that is when I take medicine for pain or Tylenol. Spring cleaning has done wonders on my muscles while I have been doing a range of motion therapy at home with DKF around. Pain and I do not always get along, although I will bear with it if it a 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Understand? Good night and God bless.

3 comments

  1. Yetzirah says:

    Some days are like that. And it’s okay if we aren’t giddy with joy all the time. Life is full of challenges. Great and small. Sometimes things pile up. I don’t always write either. I talk to myself out loud. I have some pretty funny conversations with me. 🙂 I think that’s why our days come to us one at a time. God knows we couldn’t take three or four at once. 🙂

    • ksmiley says:

      Thank you so much for your reply, Yetzirah. It means a lot to me that you for taking the time to read what I have written/shared. Yes, I have days that are not always a bowl of ripened cherries. There has to be a rotting cherry once in a while. We have emotions because of what Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. God’s plan was in place from the moment of creation of Adam and Eve — beginning of creation. We live in a world of sin and the ability to choose to follow God or not. I prefer to follow God. Because of sin in the world, we have choices to make — right or wrong. I know that not all of my choices have been good ones. I have seen what poor choices can do to a person — individually. Despite what happens here, I do my best to manage when things do not go the way I believe it should. I learn when things do not go my way, it is not what God wants it to go.

    • ksmiley says:

      I appreciate your support through words of understanding, encouragement, and what you share with me lets me know I am not alone.

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