Dialysis Woes

I am glad that dialysis is over for the weekend and I will return on Tuesday now.  Today was another rough start.  My blood began to clot the machine again and the techs did their best to prevent my blood from clotting the catheter as well.  It was successful to a degree that I could finish dialysis AFTER I was given Cathflo in my catheter and WAITING for an hour before I was hooked back up to the machine to finish dialysis.  I ended up getting out fifteen minutes later than planned despite waiting for an hour after being unhooked and then hooked back up.  I felt I was getting mixed messages when they put Cathflo in my catheter, the machine was beeping a lot, my blood was clotting the machine because the heparin was almost out within an hour.  I was getting confused and upset.  I talked to LV the nurse about how I was getting upset and she understood why. I will have to talk to Dr. A Tuesday about increasing my heparin once again.

Now home and glad to have had worship service with KB and his mom TB, I want to admit that I am doing my best at putting what happened today at the dialysis center behind me so I can rest up for the weekend.  My body feels like it has been through a war the past several days since I missed dialysis entirely last Saturday.  When it comes to putting things in the back of my mind is not an easy task for me to do, I have to rely on God to keep me safe, happy, and trust Him despite my anxiety, panic, and depression disorder I consider my inner demons always trying to dissuade my happiness of life.