An Ordinary Day

Nothing much happened today.  I have been home most of the day.  I am still feeling a little blah from the fluid buildup in my body, but I know that dialysis treatment will take care of that in time.  On my non-dialysis days, I do things at home.  Personal cares this morning, got dressed for the day, had an appointment at 8:30 AM, and then home the rest of the day and evening. I watch my marathon shows, read, write, and snuggle with Bing Crosby the Cat when he wants to.  I am not a lazy person or anything.  I have things I enjoy doing and that is what I do on my non-dialysis days.  Dialysis is now a routine I am used to and I feel I still have a full life.

            I do have to admit one thing.  When I am home and relaxing I think a lot.  It is that “what if” scenario attitude I have a lot.  It happens after an experience that gets me upset.  When AR decided to write me a text to let me know that she has quit effective immediately, I was very hurt and did not know what to think.  It takes time for me to respond to people when I am hurt in some way.  The ache in my heinart is paralyzing because “sometimes” it is not expected.  Even when W had a tone of voice.  I did not expect it, either.  Now, a week later, I have to admit that I have some adjusting to personal cares with MC. I have asked her to come back to work for me on the weekends since AR left her position wide open.  I do love MC.  I have been thinking about what AR has done to me as my brain been processing in my mind as to why she said we discussed something when we did not.  I dislike the feeling of being put under the bus as the next person does and that is one feeling I find trust has been misplaced for a while or for good depending on the situation.  When AR quit that was fine.  It was how she did it that surprised/shocked.  It is what she did during the week I found unacceptable.  Throwing me under the bus like she did.

            As my day closes bed is looming closer. I watched a movie starring Brenda Song on Netflix as well as a program that Netflix has created.  I do have spur of the moment things once in a while in my daily routine.  I usually begin to take it easy around 6 PM so I have enough sleep for the night but tonight is one of those nights where I am up late.  Yes, it is after 7 PM here tonight now.  I am heading off for the night.