I have no idea what is going on with me today. No services today because DKF was not feeling very well. I feel a little bored when there is plenty to do around here. Boredom does not come that often around here, but today bored is it. Am I so spoiled with social activities Monday through Friday, Saturday and Sunday mornings? I must be. The quietness at the dialysis center, except for the alarms of machines, is pretty nice. Spending 3 ½ hours while on dialysis is my new normal now. I have dialysis tomorrow. I just feel blah today. It has been rainy and wet, cool and cloudy for a few days now. I think the weather is messed up right now. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
As I sit here this evening, I do have to admit that I wish I could go to church in the morning instead of dialysis, but medical reason is one good reason to not attend church. That is the only disappointment I have right now. The disappointment will pass soon. I cannot have a lot of things my way right now and I can live with what I cannot do right now. God has a plan for everything that has taken place so far in my life since April 24, 2019. Having dialysis three times a week is crucial right now and Saturday Sabbath mornings and early afternoons isthe day I have to gofor now until. Another day opens up. As far as my days are concerned, I have to what is necessary and live my life normally with what I can do, cannot do, and face the challenges with what strength I have from what day I face with a grateful heart that I am still alive e lives, but God can heal the hearts of a screwed wrench any day when we ask Him for help through Jesus, his Son. Yes, I have days like this now and again and today has been one of , anthem. In fact, I feel that the past three Fridays I have been a little down that my Sabbaths have changed for a while. I am grateful to know another gentleman – a fellow Adventist – who works every other Sabbath Saturday at the dialysis center until later this summer. I am not alone that my Sabbath is set on medical leave right now.
Another thing that has me bunched up in knots is the fact that I have not been writing in my diary as often as I have done last year. It began in October 2018 to the present day. My diary at Dear Diaryhas been so broken. Yes, I have been ill, hospitalized twice so far January and April 2019, busy with other things, but it is NOT AN EXCUSE to me. I feel I have lost my way to writing these days. Why have I left? I did not leave DD, but I feel I left something when I did not write as much as I have the past couple of days. Does anyone read my diary anymore? I have no idea. Anyway, I need to concentrate on something else now before retiring to bed, and when I get home from dialysis tomorrow, I will see what is going on. Good night and I am asking for prayers for all who believe in God. Thank you.