From April 1 – 11, 2019, I did not write in my journal/diary here because I have been very busy or just did not write in my diary. I have been taking care of myself and doing what the doctor, my Dr. A told me what to do. I had my appointment on April 3 with Dr. A and the appointment went well despite the fact that we had some things to discuss about my future regarding the kidney. I was impressed with Dr. A’s analysis of things. Ever since January 15 when I had a short stay in the hospital because I had an UTI that never cleared up, my creatinine went from 2.5 to 4.8 in one month, and I had been shaking uncontrollably and finally decided to do something about it. As far as NOT writing from April 1 to 11 does not really require mathematics, time lost, or the need to write. It has been very busy and I have to keep myself busy for the time being or I will be one of those people who will think about the worst possible scenario for what is happening to me right now. I have not gone to church in a while – another two to three weeks of staying home for the day instead of going out because of weather conditions or the day was going to be a long day for me. With my kidney disease progressing slowly the past 3 months, I have found myself with mixed emotions. I just do not have a lot to say some days because I have the same routine Sunday through Saturday – from day 1 to day 7. With my kidney health declining, I have been taking care of it with my doctor Dr. A watching out for me and doing what he can to help me stay positive and on top of things. I still get scared and concerned. Having my transplanted kidney for 31 years is a milestone Dr. A has never seen before from what I have an understanding about from talking to him the past 4 months. It is amazing how long I have had the kidney, and why can’t I be satisfied? God has taken care of me this far in my life, and now I am not satisfied? Oh my, I ought to be. I am satisfied. I just hate the idea of seeing this kidney go is all.