Been Thinking

Today is my mom’s 75thbirthday.  My kidney transplant has been 31 years and 17 days ago.  Unbelievable, right?  Right. Today, I am sitting at home watching TV, reading, and doing everything I can to keep myself from thinking negatively about what is happening to my kidney as the disease progresses because the kn taidney is getting tired.  Knowing that I have been one patient of so many who have been fortunate to have a transplanted kidney outlast most kidney transplants.  31 years?  Yes, 31 years.  God has been taking good care of me gin this way.  Now, I am walking down a path that needs to be taken with my head held up and a smile on my face.  There is no need to fear, be sad, or show tears.  I have gotten this far in my life because it is meant to be.  I know I suffer from anxiety, panic, and depression I do have to admit that Satan is doing his best at swaying me to curse God and become one of his evil minions – that will not happen today, tomorrow, or in the future.  God is to be praised today and every day.  I know I struggle with understanding right away how things are going because panic and anxiety take things out of focus.   I am grateful for the time I have with this kidney despite its yet slow decline today.

That Kind of Day

I am having one of those days where time seems to stand still while I continue to move ahead in my world.  I really do not like days like this because my mind always goes to the side where surety is lost for so long – as Satan attacks me with what is my weakest link of doubt and fear of what is going on in my life right now.  I am glad that these type of days are few in-between as I sort out all that I had to process so far this week.  It has been an up and down sort of day.