Words Are Hard to Find Tonight

I have been meaning to write in my diary more tonight, but Sabbath has arrived,, and I am getting tired. I am not going to church in the morning because my fee are swollen from my declining kidney health. This is the first time I have sat on my bed while on my computer in a long time, but I have to elevate my feet and legs to relieve some of the swelling. I have something that I want to share, but the time is getting late and bed indeed on the docket here in a few minutes. I will do my best at taking time to write tomorrow.

Been Thinking

Today is my mom’s 75thbirthday.  My kidney transplant has been 31 years and 17 days ago.  Unbelievable, right?  Right. Today, I am sitting at home watching TV, reading, and doing everything I can to keep myself from thinking negatively about what is happening to my kidney as the disease progresses because the kn taidney is getting tired.  Knowing that I have been one patient of so many who have been fortunate to have a transplanted kidney outlast most kidney transplants.  31 years?  Yes, 31 years.  God has been taking good care of me gin this way.  Now, I am walking down a path that needs to be taken with my head held up and a smile on my face.  There is no need to fear, be sad, or show tears.  I have gotten this far in my life because it is meant to be.  I know I suffer from anxiety, panic, and depression I do have to admit that Satan is doing his best at swaying me to curse God and become one of his evil minions – that will not happen today, tomorrow, or in the future.  God is to be praised today and every day.  I know I struggle with understanding right away how things are going because panic and anxiety take things out of focus.   I am grateful for the time I have with this kidney despite its yet slow decline today.