Tears and More Tears

I am not something that can be taken out to the trash to buried in more piles of trash.  I am not strong, but I am not weak.  I am one of those people that gets very emotional and cries.  I have my issues and I do not have to be reminded of them. I have got my heart broken tonight and badly enough that I feel I am never going to hear from certain people in my family after what I have been told this afternoon while trying to talk to my dad but talking at my end was impossible because I was in tears.  Why do I even bother with people if my actions, thoughts, and ideas get knocked down and considered unrealistic?  I cannot trust anyone in my immediate family right now.  While my dad was talking to me this afternoon, yes, I got upset and cried because I was told that my brother has my number and he will call me when he is ready. What am I…chopped liver to him? That is how I feel right now as the tears still come and cloud my vision from seeing the words going across the laptop screen.  Then, what really upset me – the most – was the fact that my dad said that I am a nuisance texting and calling people.  I know people work hard five to six days a week while I do not.  I have not talked to my brother for nine to ten years now, so why should it bother me that he will call me when he is ready.  Why should I even care if I ever hear from him again or be so upset?  I have no idea except I want to be connected with people.  What happened earlier today has hurt me to tears.

Grandma Van 3

It is a sad day as well as happy.  The sad news is that Grandma Van passed away around 2:30 AM.  The Van family is kind of separated right now.  Pastor Van (former/retired)came home for a couple of days to be with his mom during her last hours of life.  He and CV (his wife)had driven to AZ to be with their boys and family.  Pastor Van is planning on returning to AZ to be with Friday.  The happy part of the day is that it is Thanksgiving Day. Despite Grandma Van’s passing, Thanksgiving dinner at the Van’s has not been cancelledG