With two days left of the year before 2018 comes into our lives, I do have to admit that this past year has gone by kind of fast. I believe, even though there are two days left of December, I am finding myself thinking from day to day more than what lays ahead two days from now. I have to live from day to day or anxiety will come into play and that makes me feel very uncomfortable for a day or two. I also say that I am feeling better today than I felt two days ago while doing my best at writing my last entry. I have not been writing a lot lately…unusual. I cannot make any promises because promises can be broken, and hearts will ache terribly, and I do not want that. I have had my share of heartache throughout the year. I am still a little sore about what happened to me when my neighbor RS was here the last six months before she got evicted from the building in May. Since she has been gone, I have been hearing stories of her whereabouts from other tenants who seem to have nothing better to do but talk and upset the apple cart from time to time with other tenants who have had to deal with RS and her boyfriend…the very man who got her in trouble and evicted from here in the first place. I do want RS safe and secure but if she chooses to be with a man who says he loves her and abuses her verbally, it is her choice. What friends she may have left here in Burbank Plaza Apartment complex is the choice of those tenants. The friendship I had with RS is now null and void, done away with but my prayers have not ceased. Now, I have a very nice neighbor who makes normal life noises and it is wonderful to get sleep at night even though my neighbor gets up at 5 AM every day.
Please excuse my continued rant about what has happened. I need to vent once in a while. I have been hurt and wish that I hadn’t. I have hurt people in my life as well and I know how hurt someone can get now that I have experienced it personally as well. It is not a good feeling. Ever since I have been hurt by RS, I have been careful about communicating with other tenants about certain things and I have been staying close to home minding my own business. Burbank Plaza Apartment complex is a community of its own and I can choose what to be a part of and I choose to be a part of very few things now. I have friends outside the building, family, church, Bible study to attend, and I do have my cares and chores here at home. I am not a recluse. Trusting others here has been very hard. RS has proven to me how people can change in seconds if they feel spurned or wronged when they were wrong and denying it. I think that this building has a hold of good people and once they leave here for good for a reason, they are no longer the same. I wish I had my own home where there are no other tenants and noises around me but where I am now is one of the best places for me to be now and I have to make the best of it any time things seem to be chaotic and annoying. This is my rant and vent for the rest of the year.